


The Plan that Goes Wrong

by elderkevinmckinley



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Arnold and Poptarts are the worst (best) friends, Character Study, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, Getting Together, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, Kevin is clueless, M/M, Mild Angst, Misunderstandings, mcpriceley, they are crushing on each other hard but hiding it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-11-30 04:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11455698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elderkevinmckinley/pseuds/elderkevinmckinley
Summary: Connor McKinley has been falling in love with Kevin Price ever since he first showed up at District 9 six months ago. When Connor suspects that Kevin might actually feel the same way, Arnold and Pop-Tarts devise a fool-proof plan to help him find out (only it’s not so fool-proof). Misunderstandings ensue. McPriceley.





	1. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Hope you enjoy the fic! It'll be about 5 or 6 chapters in total. Let me know if you like it! :)

Connor McKinley prided himself on being skilled at just three things. Three very specific things. One of them was tap dancing. The second was arts and crafts. And the third was reading other peoples’ emotions. He was practically empathic for Christ’s sake. He could tell in a heartbeat if one of his fellow missionaries was feeling blue or silly or happy or troubled or _anything_ — just by looking into their eyes. Connor was just one of those people that could pick up on subtle clues without the other person even saying anything. His intuitiveness and caring nature was one of the reasons he made such a wonderful District Leader to their ragtag group of young, hormonal, nineteen-year-old missionaries. The other Elders always knew they could come to McKinley for life advice or a late night heart-to-heart. His door was always open to each and every one of them—especially since they decided to finally stop turning it off.

If all of that was true, then why were Kevin Price’s feelings so darn _elusive_ to him? It was starting to drive him bonkers. There were times when Connor could sense Kevin’s mutual affection for him. He could literally _feel_ it radiating off the dazzling brunette he had a helpless crush on. He’d most often feel it in these soft, quiet moments they’d spend alone together when Connor would accidentally catch Kevin looking at him in this certain _way_ —in a way that convinced the redhead that the boy reciprocated his feelings. In those moments, Connor absolutely _knew_ it. But then the next minute, it was simply _gone_. Completely vanished, as quickly as it came, leaving Connor absolutely dumbfounded, scratching his head, wondering to whatever greater power they now believed in, if it was ever really there to begin with. He was confused and frustrated and just needed _answers_. 

The emotional rollercoaster Connor was now on had started about a month after District 9 formally got shut down by the Mormon Church. That was when he picked up the first hint that Kevin may or may not have liked him back. They had been gardening outside in the sweltering heat for hours when Connor decided he had to take his shirt off or else he would quite literally die from heat stroke.

Connor glanced over at Kevin who had been gaping at him strangely. He blushed before shrugging. “What? It’s too hot.”

Kevin’s face instantly turned beet red, which was quite uncommon for the overconfident missionary who occasionally acted as though the world revolved around him. Tongue-tied, the brunette stammered out a reply. “Yeah, it is.” He murmured softly, staring at Connor’s exposed skin as though it were diamonds.

For the next hour in the garden, Connor caught Kevin staring at him countless times, each time Kevin coming up with some lame excuse.

“You should use more sunscreen.”

“You’re looking kinda red. Are you _sure_ you don’t want more sunscreen?”

“No, you need to dig deeper holes for the carrots. Let me show you.”

Not long after that, Connor came down with a bad cold from a Ugandan virus he was clearly not immune to and was bedridden for over a week. Kevin jumped at the chance to help run the house while Connor was ill—taking care of the chore assignments, food shopping runs, bills, and anything else that Connor would normally do. In the mornings and nights, Kevin would make Connor a big bowl of chicken noodle soup and bring it to him in bed so he wouldn’t have to get up, oftentimes cheering him up with a funny joke or some village gossip to make him feel better. They would watch movies together on days when Kevin didn’t have any chores, Connor bundled up in a robe surrounded by used tissues and DayQuil, with Kevin waiting on him if he needed anything. Connor told him he didn’t need to trouble himself and that he could just relax, but Kevin said he didn’t mind. It was then that Connor realized that Kevin actually cared about him as much as he cared about him back.

They continued to walk a slippery slope between a close, caring friendship and something more, Kevin always stopping before it ever became something more. That hesitation constantly made Connor second guess his assumptions about Kevin’s feelings.

The redheaded District Leader, on the other hand, had known from the first moment Elder Kevin Price walked into the mission hut that he was in big trouble in the boy department. In his eyes, Kevin was simply perfect—well, more like _imperfectly_ perfect, despite the tall brunette’s apparent flaws and the growing pains he had to overcome after coming to Uganda. The other Elders, with the exception of Cunningham, all thought he was too conceited and a bit much to take at times. Connor had felt that way too, at first, but he’d eventually gotten to know Kevin Price well enough to see past all that. Kevin Price, imperfections and all, had simply stolen Connor McKinley’s heart. He’d allowed himself to fall hard for this boy—harder than he’d ever allowed himself to fall for anyone before. And the more he got to know him, the harder he fell.

Connor also couldn’t ignore the fact that Kevin was absolutely _gorgeous_. His soft, chestnut hair somehow always looked perfect, even when they were working outside, gross and dripping with sweat. He adored the way a few stray locks of hair seemed to always fall down over his eyes, the taller boy constantly having to bat them away. But his good looks and silky hair weren’t the only reasons Connor adored him. Kevin’s eyes told him everything he needed to know. He had such kind eyes. They were warm and chocolate-y brown and Connor could see they were so much kinder and gentler than most people gave him credit for. Not to mention his smile—that bright, delightful smile that could melt Connor’s heart in a second.

Now if only he could find out for sure how _Kevin_ felt. After months of growing closer to one another, Connor was honestly still not sure. He _did_ know that he needed to get to the bottom of it before Kevin’s mixed signals drove him completely insane. 

 

* * *

 

“You are totally wrong, Arnold. Just… _no!_ ” Kevin exclaimed emphatically, shaking his head in frustration. “Where do you even come up with these things?” Kevin muttered to his companion and best friend as they each slid into their beds after turning out the lights, getting ready to go to sleep. They occasionally engaged in idle pillow talk like an old married couple.

“Alright, jeez, Kev. I was just asking. You don’t need to get all sensitive about it.” Arnold retorted in a loud whisper.

“I’m not getting sensitive!” Kevin whispered hotly, rolling over to face the window. “I just wanna go to sleep now, okay?”

After a few moments of quiet, Arnold continued in a softer tone. “It’s no secret that you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Elder McKinley lately. You talk about him all the time. I just thought _maybe_ something was going on there. I mean, we all know Elder McKinley has, uh… _those_ types of feelings for boys.”

“Connor. His name is Connor.” Kevin corrected his best friend with a sigh. They had abandoned the title of “Elder” months ago, but for some reason Arnold still kept referring to their District Leader by his previous formal title. “And I’ve told you before, we’re just friends, okay? Good friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Besides you know I’m not…um…I’m not…”

“Not gay?” Arnold asked, rolling his eyes slightly. “Whatever, dude. I see the way you look at him.”

“What?” Kevin gasped in disbelief, a bit louder than he intended, his face reddening. “What do you mean the ‘ _way I look at him’_?” He demanded defensively. His face then softened a little when he realized his friend might have noticed something he hadn’t. “How—um, how do I look at him?”

“I don’t know.” Arnold shrugged and got quiet for a moment to give it some more thought.

Kevin shifted uncomfortably in his bed, pulling the covers up around his chin. He didn’t like anything about this. The whole thing was awkward and uncomfortable. Kevin hated talking about his feelings like this, even if it was just Arnold. And he _certainly_ didn’t like it when other people seemed to know things about himself that he wasn’t even quite sure of yet.

Arnold sat up in bed to face Kevin. “You sometimes look at him like you think he’s just…the best person in the whole world. But, like…different than the way I look at you…even though _I_ think you’re the best person in the whole world too. You just, um…you look at him funny, that’s all. I don’t know how to describe it. But I can just tell, ya know?” Arnold shrugged again and rolled over to snuggle his stuffed Yoda doll. “But what do I know? I’m just a prophet and all.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “You and I both know that means nothing.”

“Try telling that to Nagasaki. She thinks I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to this place!” Arnold grinned, squeezing his stuffed animal happily.

“Well, don’t let it go to your head.” Kevin warned with a teasing half-smile and playfully chucked a small pillow at Cunningham’s head, causing the curly-haired boy to giggle. Kevin paused for a moment and sighed. “Anyway, I don’t have those types of feelings for other guys and, even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t feel that way about _Connor_.”

“Whatever you say, bud.” Arnold replied as he began to drift off to sleep. “I just know what I saw.”

Needless to say, Kevin barely got any sleep that night.


	2. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pop-Tarts and Arnold tell Connor about their plan. Connor is hesitant, but in a brief moment of vulnerability goes along with it and ends up unintentionally hurting Kevin.

The next morning, Connor was up bright and early and by eight o’clock had already prepared a hearty breakfast of French Toast and eggs for the group. He was now busy divvying up teams to help start work on the new swimming pool they would be building now that the Ugandan summer was nearly upon them. Every month of the year was sweltering hot, but the months of July and August were the absolute worst. Besides, Connor figured they could use it all year round to cool off and have some fun.

“Alright, Tommy and Schrader, you two work on digging up the grass over there in a fifteen-foot circle like we went over yesterday, okay?” Connor asked, pointing to the spot where the pool would be put up. The two boys nodded and went to get their shovels.

“Arnold and Kevin, you guys are in charge of finding someone in the village who can repair our broken water hose. Mafala told me to ask for a Mr. Laoye. His hut is next to Sister Kimbe’s.” Connor informed the pair, while counting out the funds they would need to pay for the hired help.

Connor felt a brief flutter invade his tummy as he handed Kevin the money and keys to their small off-road vehicle, a shy grin on his face. “I think you should drive this time, Kevin. It cost an entire week’s worth of food money to get it fixed after Arnold drove last time.”

Kevin grinned with that brilliant smile of his and grabbed the keys. “Don’t worry, I got it, Con.”

Kevin had many different types of smiles, Connor realized over the past few months of getting to know the other Elder. There were the fake, politician-like smiles he gave to people he didn’t actually like or he was trying to impress. Those were Connor’s least favorite smiles. Then there were the coy, shy smiles that cropped up on his face whenever he tried (and failed) to be humble about something awesome he had just done. There were also the arrogant, boastful smiles he gave after winning a board game or a trivia match against his fellow Elders, often eliciting groans of dismay from the group.

But Connor’s favorite smile of them all was the one people didn’t often get to see. It was the one that only graced his face whenever he was truly, _genuinely_ happy. Not fake happy. Not happy because of some selfish reason. _Truly_ happy. He’d seen it cross Kevin’s face several times. Once after all the Elders agreed to stay and continue their mission work after getting shut down. Again after Arnold and Nabulungi announced to the group that they were officially dating and “going steady”.

The most memorable smile of all though, for Connor at least, was just a couple of months prior on Kevin’s first birthday spent in Uganda. Connor had spent weeks trying to perfect his handmade gift for Kevin. When Connor finally got to give Kevin the artful Disney figurine he had spent weeks making out of clay—Simba from the Lion King, Kevin’s favorite Disney character—the brunette boy was first taken aback by the thoughtfulness of the gift. Then Connor saw it—Kevin’s real smile—the most beautiful, genuine smile that could light up any room, any where.

Connor thought about pairing himself with Kevin for pool duty in a moment of selfish desire, but ultimately decided he wanted to be alone with Pop-Tarts anyway, just to talk. Christopher “Pop-Tarts” Thomas was Connor’s best friend and he really needed to get some of his love problems off his chest today. Kevin’s wishy-washy behavior had been getting worse lately and it was driving Connor nuts. He just needed an outside point-of-view to put it into perspective.

As Pop-Tarts and Connor opened up the giant box that contained the pool so they could read the instructions, Connor sighed and shook his head. “It happened _again_ last night. We were sitting next to each other on the couch watching Pocahontas and I caught him staring at me with that look in his eyes. During a _Disney_ movie of all things! You _know_ how much he loves Disney.” Connor exclaimed excitedly as he pulled out the instruction manual. “And then when I turned around to look at him, he claimed he saw a bug on my shirt and proceeded to slap it.”

Pop-Tarts snorted in response. “There was no bug.”

“There could’ve been a bug.” Connor offered, opening up the booklet.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel already? You’ve been over-analyzing his every move for months now. If you tell him how you feel, at least you’ll have it off your chest and you can finally stop obsessing over _every single thing_ he does.” Pop-Tarts said knowingly, one eyebrow raised.

Connor’s jaw dropped slightly. “I do not obsess over every single thing he does.”

“Yes, you do.” Pop-Tarts argued. “It’s literally all you talk about. To me, anyway.”

“Do not.” Connor whispered hotly and handed him the booklet. “Here, read this. I can’t concentrate right now.”

Pop-Tarts discarded the book on the ground next to them. “Listen, I love you, Con.”

Connor’s eyes widened.

“No! No, not like that.” Pop-Tarts corrected quickly, laughing and eliciting a chuckle from his redheaded friend. “I meant, I love you. You’re my best friend. And I don’t like seeing you like this. This has been going on for way too long now. Just tell him already. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Connor’s eyes suddenly turned sad as they darted toward his lap. “He could get mad at me. He could decide he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. It could ruin everything we have. I can’t do that. I just can’t. I don’t even know if he likes guys like that. It might just make him uncomfortable.”

“Have you ever actually _asked_ him?” Pop-Tarts asked impatiently.

“No! No, of course not.” Connor shook his head. “I mean, how am I supposed to ask him something like that without it looking like I’m coming on to him?” He sighed in despair and slammed his eyes shut momentarily. “I just can’t do it. It could ruin everything.”

Pop-Tarts reached up and clasped Connor’s hands into his, bringing them down from his eyes. “Or it could be the best damn thing you’ve ever done in your whole life. You could end up being happy and gay and running off together into the sunset.” Pop-Tarts beamed optimistically.

Connor let himself bask in the thought for a moment. “That sounds nice.” His smile turned serious again when he thought of the reality of the situation. “Do you really think he likes me like that? Be honest.”

“I really do.” Pop-Tarts offered sincerely, squeezing Connor’s hands to comfort him. “But if you seriously won’t ask him, we might have to think of some other way to get it out of him.”  
  
Connor’s eyes widened. “Like what?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Pop-Tarts replied thoughtfully, a slow, mischievous grin growing on his face. “But I’ll think of something.”

“Uh-oh.”

 

* * *

 

The fact that Connor had a crush on Kevin was a secret. So, naturally, everyone in the house knew about it.

“Wait…what? You _know_?” Connor gasped in disbelief at Arnold who sat across from him on the bed in his and Pop-Tarts room. Pop-Tarts had brought Connor and Arnold into the room for a secret meeting to explain his idea on how to get Kevin to admit he had feelings for Connor.

“Yeah, of course.” Arnold looked so confused.

“How?” Connor asked the chubbier boy in utter horror.

“Dude, everyone knows. Well, except for Kevin. He’s _so_ clueless.” Arnold said, shaking his head.

Connor couldn’t help but laugh heartily at that, before his look suddenly turned serious. “You ever tell him and I'll kill you. Got it?”

Arnold nodded profusely, crossing his heart in a display of promise. “Cross my heart and hope to die!”

Pop-Tarts waved his hands in the air to get their attention. “Okay, guys, never mind that. Here’s the plan. Ready?”

“Yes!” Arnold shouted happily, practically bouncing up and down on the bed beside Connor.

“No.” Connor replied flatly, paling at the idea of his best friend’s covert plan.

Pop-Tarts grinned mischievously. “Okay. So we figure that if Kevin likes you—and I mean _really_ likes you the way Arnold and I think that he likes you—then he’ll have a hard time seeing you date another guy.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Another guy? But I thought the whole point of this was so I end up with Kevin?”

Pop-Tarts rolled his eyes. “Silly, I meant if Kevin sees you dating another guy, it might make him _jealous_ and then you’ll be able to tell if he likes you. And if he’s jealous enough, he might even come forward and admit it. Get it?”

“Oh. Hmm.” Connor furrowed his brow in thought for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t know, guys. This whole thing sounds a little too devious for me. I’m not trying to hurt his feelings or anything. And what if he finds out? It’s just…too risky.”

“How would he find out unless you tell him?” Pop-Tarts countered in a jovial lilt. “It’s simple, you pretend to date someone else and if he likes you, he’ll get jealous and you’ll know the truth. If he’s happy for you, then you'll know he never really liked you anyway.”

“I don’t know, guys. Let me sleep on it.” Connor offered, shaking his head. “Anyway, who would my fake boyfriend even be?”

“This is the best part!” Arnold chimed in excitedly causing Connor’s face to sour.

“Ta da! That would be me!” Pop-Tarts sang happily. “I’m the only one that makes sense.” The blond boy replied, grinning at the discomfort he knew he was causing Connor. “We’re best friends already so it only makes sense.”

“What?” Connor exclaimed in disbelief. “You?”

Pop-Tarts shrugged. “Can you think you of anyone else that would work?"

Connor was silent for a few moments before resigning to the truth of Pop-Tarts's statement. “Fine, but let me think about it before we do anything.”

 

* * *

 

The next night, Connor and Kevin had a plan to watch a movie together in the living room. The two boys often found themselves hanging out alone together in date-like scenarios, but instead of being dates, they were just two good friends doing date-like things in the dim setting of the darkened living room. Not at all like a date.

Connor made them a big bowl of popcorn to share and took a seat on the couch next to Kevin, beaming happily. “Popcorn, diet coke, candy. All set! We can start now.”

“Oh, wait, hold on.” Kevin got up and quickly ran into his bedroom. When he came back out, he had a plush Shrek bathrobe on and his fuzzy Lion King blanket in tow. Grinning toward Connor, he spread the blanket out over top of them. “ _Now_ we’re ready.”

Connor blushed a light shade of pink as Kevin placed the blanket over them. He truly didn’t understand the situation they were in sometimes. Didn’t Kevin realize that this sort of thing was a little too… _intimate_? And if he did, why didn’t he just come out and tell Connor how he felt? The whole thing was very confusing.

Connor, his freckled face rosy in embarrassment over sharing the same blanket, placed the bowl of popcorn between them like a barrier. “Here, have some popcorn.”

Kevin grabbed a huge handful of popcorn, shoveling it into his mouth as though he hadn’t eaten in days. “Mmmm.” He mumbled through giant chews. “Extra butter and pepper, just the way I like it!” He grinned through chews over at Connor. “What are we watching?” He barely got out through the popcorn clogging up his mouth.

“We’re almost through all the DVDs so I picked up a couple new ones at the market the other day. The choices were kinda limited. You have Bubba Hotep or Casablanca.” Connor offered. “I vote for Casablanca, it’s a classic love story.”

Kevin swallowed his popcorn hard at the mention of love story. “What's the other one about?”

“An old guy who thinks he’s Elvis fights zombies.” Connor replied, giggling. “Could be so bad it’s good.”

Kevin chuckled for a moment before staring into Connor’s pretty blue eyes for one too many seconds. “Casablanca sounds nice. I wouldn’t mind watching a love story with you.”

Connor's eyes widened a little as he felt his heart flutter at the sweet comment.

Kevin’s face instantly reddened as he began to second guess his words. “I mean, I know you like all that romance stuff. I don’t mind watching it. But next time, I’m picking, okay?”

Connor’s face fell a little before getting up and popping it into the ancient DVD player they had picked up at the market months ago.

As they settled into the couch to watch the movie, Kevin took another giant handful of popcorn, a few rogue kernels falling all over the blanket. He glanced at Connor and spoke through his stuffed mouth. “What? I love popcorn!”

Connor giggled softly at how adorably childlike Kevin could be sometimes. “Gosh, you’re cute.”

Kevin went silent at the comment, simply gaping at the redheaded boy with wide eyes, a big chew of popcorn still in his mouth. “What?” He managed to muffle out through the kernels. “Did you just call me cute?”

Realizing what he had just said, Connor felt his entire body turn to ice, suddenly sick and stiff. _Did I just call him cute? To his face? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…_

Connor simply paled, blanking on what he could possibly say to make this better. “I, um, I didn’t mean it like that, Kevin. I just meant, um…” _Think, think, think._

After finally swallowing his mouthful of popcorn, Kevin let a secret smile cross his lips as he watched Connor struggle to come up with an excuse on why he just called his friend “cute”. “What _did_ you mean?”

After a moment of collecting his thoughts, Connor still didn’t know what to say to fix it. “I, um…”

“You—you think I’m cute?” Kevin asked quietly, not sure why he even cared or why he suddenly felt a million butterflies invade his stomach like a butterfly brigade. He was overcome with a profound sense of heightened awareness and nervousness. But it didn’t feel like a _bad_ nervousness per se. More like an excited nervousness. All of his skin felt prickly and sensitive. And he wasn’t quite sure why he all of a sudden felt a surge of unexplained emotion bolt through his veins like a racehorse. Still, he knew it didn’t feel _bad_ necessarily. Just different.

Connor, on the other hand, felt completely ill. “No, I, just—“. He closed his eyes, racking his brain for a way out of this mess. Suddenly, he remembered that he actually _had_ one.

Connor calmed his nerves long enough to straighten up and look into Kevin’s eyes. Composing himself, he clicked pause on the DVD player and turned back to the boy sitting next to him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was actually waiting for the right time to tell you, but I’m—”, He paused, still not sure if he wanted to actually go through with this or not. “I’m kind of already…dating someone. Pop-Tarts, actually. We’re kind of a…couple. We’re a couple. He’s my boyfriend now. It just happened a few days ago. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Connor stammered out, choking on his own nerves. “So I really didn’t mean it like that at all, okay?”

Kevin’s mind suddenly went blank. He felt cold and numb and he couldn’t compute what he had just heard. The butterflies now turned to angry mosquitos flurrying inside his body. Connor was _dating_ someone? _Pop-Tarts_ of all people?

“What?” Kevin asked incredulously. “You’re dating Pop-Tarts?”

Connor could see a brief flash of anger, followed by sorrow in Kevin’s eyes. _Could Kevin actually be jealous? Were the guys maybe...right?_

Connor seized the chance to find out. “Do you…do you have a problem with this? If you do, we can talk about it.” The ginger asked expectantly, quietly searching Kevin’s eyes for some type of clue that he was indeed jealous, that he actually wanted Connor for himself and would murder Pop-Tarts the next time he saw him. _Anything_.

Kevin was dumbfounded and had trouble formulating a reply. He didn’t know why he felt such rage about this latest development. All he knew was that he did. This was supposed to be good news, right? After all, he wanted Connor to be happy. He really did. Kevin knew Connor was gay and all and was bound to eventually get together with another guy. But _Pop-Tarts_?

“No, no problem.” Kevin finally choked out, his eyes screaming otherwise. He was absolutely bewildered and hurt and confused as to why he even _felt_ this way. “I just…wow. I just can’t believe it.” He stammered, trying to find the right words. “When? Where? How? I mean, how did this even happen?”

Uh oh. The lies. Here come the plethora of lies he was so afraid of. For a moment, Connor considered telling Kevin the truth, but decided against it. He needed to know how Kevin felt about him. But, still, it felt wrong. All wrong. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. “Um, well, we were working on the pool yesterday and we had kind of a moment and then he…kissed me. On the mouth.” He managed to get out without crying or laughing or choking on his own words. Connor had never been very good at lying and certainly didn’t like the idea of lying to Kevin of all people. “Then we talked about it for a while and since we were both _single_ —”, Connor took a moment to let that seep into Kevin’s brain. “We decided we would try out being boyfriends.”

Kevin felt as though his heart had cracked in half and he didn’t know why.

“Wow, that’s great, Connor.” Kevin forced himself to say, plastering his fake smile onto his face. He didn’t know what exactly he was feeling, but he knew it was the exact opposite of happy. “I’m so happy for you and Pop-Tarts.” He lied. “Really, I am.”

Connor’s face fell at Kevin’s words. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”

Kevin shook his head as he stood up, taking his blanket off of Connor and into his arms. His eyes looked glassy. “No, of course not. But I am feeling a little sick actually. I think I’m just gonna call it an early night. We can watch the movie another time, okay?” Kevin’s face looked absolutely heartbroken.  _Should I tell him it was a lie? No, I can’t. Not yet. He’ll think I’m crazy. What did I get myself into?_   So many thoughts were running through Connor’s confused and hormonal head. _This is wrong._

Connor saw that heartbreaking look in Kevin’s eyes and stood up with him. “Wait, Kevin, hold on.” Connor whispered softly, his hands shaking at this point, moving towards the dark-haired boy until he was nearly right up against his face. “I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you sure you don’t have any problem with this? If you do, I want to know. I really do.” He practically begged the other boy. _Please_. “Please tell me if you do.”

Kevin swallowed hard and shook his head fiercely. “No, Con. I’m happy for you guys. I just wanna go to bed, that’s all.”

Kevin was a very stubborn person. Too stubborn and proud for his own good.

Connor nodded sadly and leaned in to give Kevin a hug. He squeezed the brunette tightly before pulling back and looking into his eyes. “Goodnight, Kevin. Sweet dreams.”

Tears were threatening to escape Kevin’s eyes. He had to leave now before Connor saw anything. “Night, Con. See you tomorrow.” He replied quietly, uncharacteristically quiet for Kevin who was usually proud, boastful, and self-assured.

Connor sat alone in the dark living room with a full bowl of popcorn and an unwatched movie wondering where everything had gone wrong.


	3. I'm Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin has a meltdown. Connor feels guilty. 
> 
> Next chapter will be more lighthearted, I promise! :)

Kevin Price couldn't be gay. It just wasn't _allowed_ to happen.

How was it that he was having these types of feelings _now_ when he had managed to get through all of his formative years of school, including puberty, without falling for a single person? His focus had always been on his studies, his work, the Church, and his upcoming mission. Those were the only things that mattered in the world of super-Mormon Kevin Price. 

Those _were_ the only things that mattered, at least—until Kevin Price’s glory came to an abrupt halt after their mission got shut down and they all decided to stay.

During that time, as he got to know Elder McKinley more closely, he began to feel some very strange sensations that he'd never felt before in his entire life. He found himself blushing more often, feeling flutters in his heart whenever they shared moments alone together and butterflies in his stomach whenever their hands would accidentally brush together. Not to mention the most unfortunate tightness in his groin area whenever Connor would take his shirt off on a hot day or whenever he would get nervous and do this adorable thing where he'd start compulsively running his fingers through his fiery red hair. These new, bizarre feelings were completely foreign to Kevin, who had never so much as had a crush on anyone before. It certainly didn't help that he was feeling all of these for a _boy_. He wasn't _supposed_ to have those kinds of feelings for boys.

Sure, Kevin no longer believed that being gay was wrong for _other_ people, like Connor McKinley. It was okay for him to be gay. All of the Elders had been freed from the shackles of a fundamentalist Mormon existence after they made their bold move to stay and develop their own idea of faith. However, those Mormon beliefs had been so deeply ingrained into Kevin's psyche that it sometimes seemed impossible to overcome them. It was bad enough that he'd already profoundly disappointed his parents by failing at being a Mormon missionary. They hadn't disowned him or anything like that, but he was certainly on the tail-end of many unpleasant subsequent “talking-tos” over long-distance phone calls from Utah. To tell them _now_ , so soon after the incident, that he thought he might be  _gay_ too? It just couldn't be allowed to happen. Not now, not ever. Not to Kevin Price.

At least, not until the news of Pop-Tarts and Connor’s relationship slapped him smack dab in the face like a frying pan and caused him to have a complete meltdown.

After hearing the shocking news of Connor's new relationship with Pop-Tarts, Kevin held it together as best he could for the few moments it took for him to escape. He forced himself to hold back tears as he retreated into their tiny shared bathroom instead of going to bed. He couldn't let Connor or Arnold see him like that. 

He could only think one thing and one thing only. _Connor's with Pop-Tarts...Connor's with...Pop-Tarts_? _No, no, no_.

None of it made any sense to Kevin. Connor had never even shown the slightest bit of romantic interest in Pop-Tarts. They were friends. Best friends, even. Then again, Kevin knew better than anyone how friendship could rapidly turn into feelings of deeper affection _. But Pop-Tarts_? To his knowledge, Pop-Tarts wasn't even _gay_.

Kevin immediately turned on the sink faucet so the running water would drown out any sounds of despair he was making. He was not about to let the whole house hear him cry like a baby. He didn’t even know why he was crying. Kevin Price wasn’t a crier, he almost never cried. He was so good at keeping it together all the damn time, but something just snapped inside of him when Connor announced that he was dating the other boy, triggering a bombardment of unfamiliar emotions to flood his brain.

On a deeper, subconscious level, Kevin must have thought that someday, eventually,  _he_  would be the one to end up with Connor. That would explain the uncontrollable feelings of jealousy, anger and sadness he felt surging through his veins.

He had, over the past few months, pushed all of the romantic thoughts he had about Connor away to the back of his mind where he couldn’t access them. He, quite literally, turned them off whenever they felt out of control. These thoughts weren’t even overtly sexual in nature or anything like that. No, they were just feelings, unfamiliar feelings, swirling around inside his brain—feelings that made him realize he liked Connor McKinley as much more than a friend.

But whenever he would start to let his feelings show without realizing it, he always tried to quickly cover them up. It was getting harder and harder to do though, the closer the two boys became. Connor probably knew that Kevin had a crush on him by this point, the brunette boy figured. How could he not? And although Connor never confronted Kevin directly about it, he had a lingering suspicion that Connor might have also had a bit of a crush on _him_.

However, Kevin constantly put up barriers, always trying to appear straight and not interested in boys or relationships in general. By this point, he assumed Connor had pretty much given up on him. _It’s for the better anyway_ , Kevin figured. _You have to stop feeling this way_. He couldn't,  _wouldn't_ —he _refused_  to be gay. One day, he knew he would have to return home to his parents and he couldn't go home with a.... _boyfriend_.

 _You don't even want to be gay. Being gay is a sin. You're better off without him._  “Old Kevin” concluded in a voice that chastised him.

 _You wouldn't admit your feelings to him, so this is what you get. You’ve waited too long to tell him how you feel. You don’t deserve someone as sweet as him. “'_ New Kevin” countered, the conclusion equally as bad.

Neither of those outlooks seemed very appealing to Kevin.

All he wanted was _Connor—_ _all_ of Connor—the sweet redhead with the beautiful blue eyes who made him Disney trinkets out of clay and watched romantic movies with him and knew how to make him laugh even when he felt down in the dumps. The jovial boy who got overly excited about Christmastime and baking cookies and crafting and tap dancing and rom coms. The boy who took care of their little group of misfits, always making sure the bills were paid on time and food was on the table. He wanted _Connor_. All of Connor.

That possibility seemed to be drifting further and further away from him.

Sin or not, Kevin began to realize, as he sat alone in their pitiful, cramped bathroom, sobbing, that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least _tell_ Connor how he felt. Even if his feelings remained unrequited and his red-haired crush ended up choosing Pop-Tarts over him. Even if his pride, his self-assured exterior, had to be cast aside, it didn't matter. He had to tell Connor how he felt or else he could end up regretting it for the rest of his life. But…how? Now that Connor actually had a boyfriend, things were looking much more complicated.

 

* * *

 

"I'm a terrible person." Connor lamented mournfully the next morning, head in hands, to Pop-Tarts and Arnold after he finished telling them what had transpired the night before with Kevin. "There's no way he'll ever want to be with me now. Not after he finds out what I've done. I'm such an _idiot_."

"Are you sure he actually looked like he was gonna cry?" Arnold asked in shock. "I mean, I had a feeling he liked you and all, but I had no idea he liked you _that_ much."

"Me neither." Pop-Tarts spoke quietly, ashamed of the fact that he had instigated this whole thing. "But at least you finally know how he feels, right?" Pop-Tarts offered in a positive light. "That's what you wanted.”

"Yeah. That's what I wanted." Connor replied numbly, sadness evident in his eyes.

It pained Pop-Tarts to see Connor looking so broken up.

"Alright, let's just put our heads together and think. We can fix this." Pop-Tarts tried to comfort Connor, taking a seat next to him on the bed and wrapping one arm around his friend, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Maybe we can pretend to start arguing about something, then I can fake break up with you after a couple days and Kevin will be free to step in."

Connor shook his head and sighed regretfully. "Somehow I don't think he will."

"Why not?" Pop-tarts asked in a confused tone. "None of this makes any sense to me. He either wants you or he doesn't. We're giving him a chance here! He just has to take it."

Arnold gave it some thought before chiming in. "Maybe he doesn't think Connor likes him back. I'm not kidding when I say he's pretty dumb about these things."

Pop-Tarts nodded in thought. "Maybe, but have you ever known Kevin Price to _not_ go after what he wants?”

"Yeah, but he really doesn't like talking about this stuff.” Arnold replied, grabbing a chocolate donut off of the plate that sat on the nightstand between the two twin beds. “I mean, I tried talking to him about it the other night and he just kept on saying he 'didn't like boys like that'." Arnold said nonchalantly, biting hungrily into the donut. "Oh and that even if he did, he _definitely_ wouldn't feel that way about Connor."

"Whoa, what?" Connor exclaimed, standing up. "He actually  _told_  you that?"

"Yeah, he was pretty adamant about it too." Arnold mused with a half-smile, taking another bite of the donut.

Connor pulled his hair with his hands in agony and began to pace. "That would've been nice to know before, Arnold!" He stated loudly. Connor never yelled at anyone, so that was about as close as he ever came to shouting.

"Seriously, Arnold?" Pop-Tarts chided the chubbier boy with a glare. "You were just...sitting on that this whole time?"

Arnold shook his head. "Oh no, no, you guys don't understand! He  _definitely_  likes Connor. I'm even more sure of it now after what happened last night."

"So you’re saying he's just been...lying to you?" Connor asked incredulously. "I find that hard to believe. I mean, I know he has his flaws and all but lying isn't one of them."

Pop-Tarts scratched his head. "I'm completely out of ideas. What should we do?"

"I could try talking to him again today, get a feel for how he's taking the news of the whole 'fake boyfriend' situation." Arnold offered, finishing up the donut. "I'll try to get to the bottom of this mess."

Connor nodded. “Good. The sooner this ends, the better. I had a Hell dream last night for the first time in over two months!" The redhead shrieked nervously, his hair messy from bedhead and lack of sleep. His normally bright blue eyes, droopy and worn. "This is killing me. I can't believe I made his face _look_ like that. He was so sad. Because of  _me_.  _I_  did that. God..." Connor buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. "This isn't what love is supposed to be like. All I wanted was to hear him say that he likes me back, that he'd always liked me, that he wants to be my boyfriend. But all I did was hurt him instead and I'm no closer to finding out what he even wants."

Connor just wished he had a time machine so he could go back to before he lied, before he made Kevin's face look like that, before he completely ruined any chance of having a relationship with the person he loved more than anything. Nothing was working out the way it was supposed to.


	4. Making Things Up Again (aka Kevin Finds Out)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin finds out about you-know-what.

Later that day, Arnold and Kevin were working outside in the intense Ugandan heat, attempting to install the pool filter, the final step before filling it with water. Kevin looked downright exhausted, Arnold concluded, as he watched his best friend fumble around with the filter from the comfortable shade of a nearby palm tree. The bags under Kevin’s eyes were abnormally dark and droopy, the usual brightness of his eyes, dimmed. Arnold had a strong suspicion that his best friend’s current state had something to do with the recent “news” about Connor’s love life.

After basking in the shade for a few minutes, Arnold got up and wandered over to rejoin Kevin.

“You doin’ okay there, bud?” Arnold attempted to ask Kevin as casually as possible. “You don’t look so good.”

Kevin furrowed his brow. “Thanks.” He replied flatly.

“No, I mean, you always look  _good_. You just seem a little bummed out today, that’s all.” Arnold clarified, sitting down on the grass next to the pool with a yawn. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine, Arnold. Just concentrating on getting this stupid thing to work.” He muttered in frustration. 

Sweat was dripping down their faces, the hot sun beating down on them without mercy. Kevin sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow.

“Come on, help me out over here.” Kevin groaned at Arnold, who was now laying down in the grass at peak laziness.

“Dude, let's just go inside and take a break. It’s a thousand degrees and my stomach’s rumbling like crazy.” Arnold begged with a hint of desperation in his voice. “I’m _so_  hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Kevin teased with a friendly eye roll.

"Ooooh, and I just remembered Connor made sandwiches for us before he left this morning!” Arnold grinned happily, standing up, thinking of the yummy food waiting for them inside.

"Sandwiches?" Kevin asked in a hopeful voice, wiping his eyes. "Sandwiches sound pretty good right about now.”

Arnold paused for a moment, thinking about how he might be able to use this to bring up the whole “Connor and Kevin” situation. After all, he  _was_  on a covert mission for information and information he was going to get.

“How nice is Connor to get up early and make us lunch like that? He’s basically the sweetest guy in the whole world, isn't he?" Arnold asked his friend in a knowing sing-song lilt as they walked back towards the house, trying to get Kevin to take the bait.

“Oh, um, yea...he’s very sweet." Kevin agreed in a softer tone than before, a rosy pink hue creeping onto his cheeks.

It was Friday which meant Connor would be out all day working over at the village school like he’d been doing every Friday for the past month. Connor, being who he was, had volunteered to help the kids out with their end of the school year play. Kevin had stopped by a couple times to watch them rehearse, delighting in how fond the children seemed to be of Connor. But, then again, of course all the children adored him. He was funny and kind and good with kids. He loved showing them how to sing and dance and all that fun stuff. Kevin could tell Connor was having a ball with the costume design as well. Glitter was literally  _all_ over the house. Kevin had even found some in the bathroom the other day. Kevin couldn’t wait to watch it all come together in a couple weeks when they would be putting on the play for the whole village. Connor would make a wonderful teacher one day, he thought, at least if the whole Broadway performer thing didn’t work out. 

“Oooh, look, Kev! Connor made your  _favorite_ sandwich!” Arnold grinned, handing Kevin the peanut butter, raspberry jam, and mashed banana sandwich with cinnamon sprinkled on top. Connor had even toasted the bread first, just the way Kevin liked it. Arnold watched as Kevin’s mouth curled up into a small smile as he happily bit into the sandwich.

“Seriously, isn’t he just the  _best_?” Arnold asked again in a tone false enough to make Kevin raise his eyebrows in suspicion at his best friend’s sudden fascination with Connor.

“What’s up with you?” Kevin challenged playfully as he took a seat across from his curly-haired friend who was now digging aggressively into his ham and cheese sandwich.

Arnold swallowed a big bite of sandwich nervously and shook his head. “Nothing’s up. I’m just babbling on about nonsense, you know me. No hidden motives here!"

Kevin let out an unsure laugh, quirking his eyebrows at his best friend quizzically, who had been acting very strange all morning. 

They ate their sandwiches quietly for a few minutes until Arnold saw Kevin begin to shift uncomfortably in his seat, a tell-tale sign that he was about to talk about something that he didn’t really want to talk about but was rallying up the courage to do so anyway.

“Did you, um— “, Kevin started, before second-guessing even bringing this up with Arnold. “Did you hear the news about Connor and Pop-Tarts? They're apparently dating now or something.”

Arnold nodded, suddenly feeling an unexpected pang of guilt surge through his body. It had only just occurred to him that going along with this cockamamie plan meant having to  _lie_  to his best friend. He couldn’t lie to Kevin! But, he had to. But, he couldn't! But, he had to.  _Ugh_. 

“Uh, yeah, I did actually." Arnold replied, deciding to seize this less-than-pleasant opportunity to get the truth out of Kevin. “How are you taking that, by the way?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Kevin questioned with an annoyed sigh. “Am I supposed to care about this or something? I already told you, I don’t like Connor like  _that_ …in that way. Can't you just give it a rest?”

“Dude." Arnold warned in a somewhat parental tone of voice Kevin didn't often hear from his best friend. It sounded almost desperate. "We need to just stop with all the lies now. I  _know_ you like Connor, okay? We  _all_  know you like Connor. It's so freakin' obvious!”

“It is not!” Kevin spat out defensively, his cheeks now flushed.

Arnold ignored the measly attempt at a protest and continued. “You need to just tell him how you feel so things can finally get back to normal around here and you guys can just be happy. It’s not that hard.”

_Go back to normal? What does that mean? And not that hard? What a laugh._

Kevin knew, deep down, that Arnold was right. He had come to the same conclusion the night before anyway, but he wasn’t ready to tell anybody just yet. And why would Arnold think it was a good idea to tell Connor? Kevin had clearly missed the boat with Connor now that he was with Pop-Tarts. It didn't make any sense and seemed almost cruel to even suggest it. Sure, Kevin was considering telling Connor anyway just to get it off his chest, but Arnold couldn’t have known that.

“ _Fine_ , Arnold...” Kevin admitted icily, averting his gaze down to face his lap.

It was only fitting that the first person he came out to would be Arnold. Arnold wouldn’t judge him, wouldn’t tell him that being gay was a sin, wouldn’t lay a guilt trip on him. If anyone was going to understand, it would be Arnold.

“This is really hard for me to say.” Kevin started in a small voice, wringing his hands nervously in his lap, blushing. “But maybe I—maybe I  _kind of_ like him…in that way.” He managed to choke out in a near whisper. “You know, only a little.”

Kevin felt absolutely ashamed of himself and just stared down at his hands, refusing to meet Arnold’s eyes.

"Kind of?" Arnold snorted loudly in a skeptical tone, taking another bite of sandwich. “Yeah, okay, and I only  _kind of_  like Nabulungi. You know, only a little.”

Kevin's eyes shot up angrily to meet Arnold’s. It had been incredibly difficult for him to admit that he even had those feelings and  _that_  was the reaction he got? 

" _Fine_!" Kevin shouted louder than he intended, standing up in a huff. He just felt angry and confused and sad and jealous,  _so_   _jealous_  even though he knew he had no right to be.

"I like him a lot, okay? In  _that_...way. In…in the  _gay_ way. Okay?” Kevin choked out through gasps. “I think about him all the time. When he's not with me, all I can think about is how I  _wish_  he was. In fact, I like him  _so_  much that it practically  _killed_ me last night to hear him tell me about him and Pop-Tarts. I cried for twenty minutes straight.  _Are you happy now_?" He shouted at his friend, angry and confused and not sure why he was even yelling.

Kevin paused his tirade for a second, taking a moment to hiccup and catch his breath. "All I want is to tell him how I feel and hear him say that he feels the same way, but that isn't gonna happen, is it? No, because he's with someone else now.  _Not_ me. Is this what you wanted, Arnold? Huh?" He yelled at his friend, tears escaping his eyes and streaming carelessly down his face.

"Goddammit…" Kevin was practically shaking now, his eyes red and wet, his nose runny and his throat tight and dry. He began shuddering uncontrollably, gasping for breaths.

Arnold’s eyes widened in shock as he stood up and brought Kevin down to sit beside him, instinctively wrapping his arms around his best friend’s shoulders.

"Shhh, hey now, it'll be okay. It’s all gonna be okay, buddy." Arnold cooed in what he hoped was a soothing voice, pulling his distraught friend in closer. "Everything's gonna be okay. Just breathe. There you go. In and out, just breathe. That’s right."

After a few minutes, Kevin’s sobbing turned into light sniffling and the occasional shudder. Arnold’s arms were still wrapped tightly around his friend, pulling him close into his warmth, feeling every time Kevin let out a tremor or sob.

“I’m sorry, Arnold.” Kevin finally blubbered out with a sniffle. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. What’s…what’s wrong with me? This isn’t how I am. This isn’t  _me_.”

“Of course it is.” Arnold soothed, reaching up to brush a stray piece of hair out of the brunette’s eyes. “It’s just a different side of you, that’s all. You’re just not used to feeling this way.”

“I’m not.” Kevin took in sniffle, bringing his hands up to wipe at his eyes frantically. “I have no idea what I’m doing. This is all so  _confusing_  to me.”

They sat close to one another like that for a few moments, enveloping one another in a comfortable silence, Arnold never taking his arms of off Kevin.

"He really does like you, you know." Arnold spoke softly to his best friend with a small smile. "Connor, I mean. He’s totally crazy about you. He just wasn’t sure if you felt the same way or not, that’s all.”

Kevin’s eyes widened in shock and Arnold could see confusion washing over his face. “What are you talking about? He can’t…he can’t like me. Connor would never do that to Pop-Tarts.”

Arnold  _hated_  lying to Kevin, especially when his face looked like that—sad, confused, scared, tears dripping down his face. Sure, back in the old days, he wouldn’t have thought twice about lying to anyone. It was his “little problem” after all. But, now, after seeing Kevin cry like that…he just couldn’t do it.

“He’s not with Pop-Tarts, okay?” Arnold finally choked out, standing up to face away from Kevin in shame.

“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked in confusion. “You just said…”

“I know what I said!” Arnold yelled, losing his cool.

“This isn’t making any sense!” Kevin yelled back, equally frazzled. “What the heck is going on?”

“I can’t take the lies anymore!” Arnold yelped and began to pace. “Connor isn’t with Pop-Tarts! He was never with Pop-Tarts! They’re best friends, that’s it. It was just a stupid made-up lie to get you to admit your feelings. God, this was such a bad idea…”

“ _What_?” Kevin asked, aghast.

“It was just a stupid made-up lie.” Arnold admitted in a shaky voice, pacing. “Not the part about Connor being crazy about you. That part is definitely true.”

Kevin was stunned, trying to digest both the news about the lie and the fact that Connor did actually _like_  him. “So you’ve all just been…lying to me?”

“It was for a good reason! You finally admitted the truth! You wouldn’t’ve done that if we didn’t force it out of you.” Arnold argued loudly, flailing his arms in panic. “You were in some serious denial there, Kev.”

Arnold dropped his arms and looked at Kevin, slowly realizing what he had just done. “You’re not gonna, uh, tell Connor I told you all this, are you?” He tried to laugh, but it just came out sounding false. “He’ll kill me, Kevin.”

Kevin just glared at him and shook his head in disbelief.

“Connor…Connor is going to  _murder_ me. I’m dead…I’m  _dead_! I even crossed my heart and hoped to die!” Arnold moaned, shaking his head.

“Aren’t I the one who should be upset right now?” Kevin gasped in disbelief.

“Paper bag, paper bag!” Arnold suddenly screamed at his best friend, who knew what that meant and begrudgingly obliged, grabbing a paper bag and putting it over Arnold’s mouth.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet, okay? I can’t believe you guys did this to me. I have feelings too, you know.” Kevin chided his friend in a calmer voice as he watched him hyperventilate into the paper bag.

They were both quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out the best way to deal with all of this. Kevin knew his feelings for Connor had not changed, despite the fact that he had lied to him. Even though Kevin had ended up getting hurt, he knew Connor well enough to know he would never intentionally cause him any pain. They would make things right again—Kevin would make sure of it.

“So, uh, you’re sure about all this, right? That he actually…likes me?” Kevin asked quietly, watching Arnold’s red face still breathe slowly in and out of the paper bag.

Arnold nodded, bringing the bag down from his lips, calmer now than he had been before. “Yeah, of course I’m sure. Everyone knows Connor has a thing for you. Well, everyone except for you. You’re both so clueless.”

A small half-smile crept onto Kevin’s face. “Am not.”

“Are too.” Arnold retorted, chuckling.

They were quiet for a few moments, both of them in deep thought about all that had happened and what would come next.

“So is the madness over now?” Arnold broke the silence in a hopeful voice. “You’re gonna tell him how you feel so things can go back to normal, right?”

Kevin thought about it for a moment, his mouth twisting into the small inkling of a grin. “Not quite. I have a better idea.”

Arnold groaned mournfully, allowing his head to hit the wooden table with a loud thud.  _Great_.

 

* * *

 

Dinner the next night was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Every Saturday, the Elders would all share a family-style meal together, usually followed by a fun activity like playing a board game or watching a movie as a group. Tonight, though, they were planning on christening the new swimming pool after dinner by having a fun-filled, late-night pool party instead. All of their hard work on the new pool had finally paid off and they were all excited to take their first swim in it.

During dinner, Kevin would not stop asking the new "couple" questions about their budding relationship, pretending to be overly interested in even the most boring minutiae. His plan was to tire Connor out to the point where he would  _have_  to admit the truth.

Kevin was still fully planning to go through with telling Connor how he felt about him. Despite his initial reaction to the lie, he knew it hadn't come from a bad place. Connor liked him. Kevin knew that now. Not only did he like him, but he wanted to be with him. That knowledge simply filled Kevin's heart to the brim. It was almost hard to stay irked at him long enough to get back at him. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep this charade up for much longer—but that didn't mean he didn't want to give Connor a little taste of his own medicine.

"So have you two been out on any real dates yet?" Kevin tried to ask casually. "I mean, other than sitting out in the yard working on the pool."

Pop-Tarts sighed. "No, Kevin, not yet, but trust me, you'll be the first to know when we do." He replied tiredly. He was sick of all the questions. 

"That's kinda weird. Why haven't you been out on a date yet?" Kevin mused aloud, struggling to stifle an amused grin. "Couples are supposed to be romantic, you know. Don't you wanna take Connor out on a proper date?"

Connor's face turned as red as the peppers on his plate. He wished more than anything that Kevin would stop talking about this. Most of the other Elders had already abandoned the table after the first fifteen minutes because of how awkward things were getting. Only Kevin, Connor, and Pop-Tarts were still at the table.

"Come to think of it." Kevin continued. "You two haven't been acting much like a couple at all. You haven't been out on a date, I never see you kissing, and Pop-Tarts  _still_ doesn't use deodorant."

Pop-Tarts slammed his fork down. "Will you give it a rest, Kevin? Connor and I are doing just fine, okay? Worry about your own problems." He wrung his hands out nervously. He wasn’t a very good liar.

"Problems, huh?" Kevin feigned a brow furrow. "Trouble in paradise?"

"That's it, I've had enough of this. Excuse me." Pop-Tarts announced loudly and got up to leave the table. “And for the record, I  _do_ use deodorant!” He huffed in an annoyed tone, leaving Connor and Kevin alone.

Kevin actually started to feel bad after that. Maybe he was coming on too strong. But what they did to him was wrong. He deserved a little retribution, didn't he? He glanced over at Connor, who was completely red in the face, blushing. He also seemed to be profoundly sad. A pang of guilt hit Kevin like a knife. He needed to cool it for a while. He didn't want to hurt Connor. He was just trying to have a little fun at their expense. After all, they're the ones who had been lying to him.

"I'm sorry." Kevin found himself blurting out without realizing it.  _Where did that come from?_

Connor looked up at him with those sad, blue eyes.  _Damn him_ , thought Kevin. 

"It's okay." Connor replied in a small voice. "Pop-Tarts will cool off." 

A deafening silence came over the only two who remained at the table. 

"You're coming to the pool party, right?" Connor asked hopefully. "I bought pool toys for everyone. I have a feeling you'll like yours." Connor let himself giggle. "It'll be fun."

Kevin nodded, grinning at the redheaded boy’s adorable giggle. "Yeah, of course I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it."

Connor beamed at him, looking a little more chipper at that. 

"I'm really sorry I said those things." Kevin found himself blurting out again.  _Goddammit_.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Connor assured, the twinkle back in his eyes.

"But didn't I just upset your... _boyfriend_?" He asked quizzically, knowing full well Pop-Tarts was not his boyfriend. Maybe Connor would admit the truth  _now._

For a brief moment, guilt seemed to flash across Connor's eyes. "Oh, yeah, but everything's fine."

Kevin pushed it further. "It doesn't seem fine to me. You don't look happy. Are you not happy with Pop-Tarts?"

Connor sighed, the twinkle leaving his eyes again. "Can we talk about something else please?"

"Why? We used to talk about everything." Kevin reminded him. "Remember?"

"No, Kevin.” Connor replied sadly, standing up from the table to leave. “Not everything."

Connor’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as he exited the kitchen, leaving Kevin alone to think about what exactly Connor had meant by that.

 


	5. To Tell the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arnold tells Pop-Tarts that Kevin knows about the you-know-what and they devise a new plan to get Kevin and Connor to admit their feelings for one another. And this one better work out or else Arnold might have a stroke. (Not really, but you know.) 
> 
> Kevin sees Connor soaking wet in a swimsuit and it makes his heart explode. (Not really, but you know.)

“Dude!” Arnold bellowed loudly, barging into the bedroom where Pop-Tarts had gone to sulk after Kevin’s strange behavior at dinner. It was six o’clock at night now and the pool party was set to begin in about an hour. “I have to talk to you _now_. Badness Level 10.”

“Badness Level 10?” Pop-Tarts asked quizzically, looking up from the magazine he was reading while laying on his bed in his swim trunks. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that Kevin knows about the _you-know-what_ and we have to do something! _"_  Arnold blurted out in a loud whisper, not knowing what else to say.

“ _What_?” Pop-Tarts screeched, jumping out of bed in a panic.

“I’m not gonna go into _how_ he knows, but let’s just say he knows. Everything.” Arnold admitted, his face paling. "All of it."

“Oh, you’re going into it.” 

“No, I’m not.” Arnold protested.

“Yes, you are!” Pop-Tarts squeaked in panic. “How the heck did this even  _happen_? We all agreed not to tell!”

Arnold sighed and shook his head. “Look, Kevin’s my best friend, okay? And…and…he’s been having a really hard time with this whole thing. He, like, doesn’t want to be gay for some reason but he’s definitely gay for Connor and he’s having all these issues about it. Anyway, we had a little heart to heart yesterday and it just kind of…slipped out.” He confessed warily.

“It just _slipped out_?” Pop-Tarts shouted in bewilderment. He could’ve just strangled Arnold. “How does something like that just slip out? Connor is going to _kill_ us, Arnold.”

“Keep your voice down!” Arnold shrieked. “Look, that’s not even the problem, okay?”

“It’s not?”

“No, look, Kevin knows Connor has feelings for him now, so he isn’t even that mad about the lie. He knows we only did it because Connor likes him.” Arnold assured. 

Pop-Tarts stopped in his tracks, confusion washing over his face. “He does? And he’s not?”

“Yes and no. I mean, yeah, he’s a little miffed about the whole thing, but the bottom line is he still wants to be with Connor anyway.” Arnold clarified, a small smile appearing on face at the happy news.

A grin overtook Pop-Tarts’s face as well. “Well, that’s great! Now he can just tell Connor how he feels and this whole thing can finally be over! What’s the problem?”

“Yeah, so, _that’s_ the problem. He doesn't want to be the one to admit it first. He won’t budge. Like I said, he’s having some major issues about the gay thing and he's still a little miffed about the whole fake boyfriend and, uh, lying to him thing.” Arnold explained warily. “Therein lies the level 10 badness.”

“Gosh, those two are idiots.” Pop-Tarts mourned, sitting down on the bed to think. “Is that why he was acting so weird at dinner? To like…get back at us or something?”

“Yeah, he was being a dick.” Arnold noted, sitting down next to Pop-Tarts.

“A Level 10 dick.” Pop-Tarts joked, causing both boys to chuckle lightly.

Pop-Tarts rubbed his hands together in thought. “Alright, we can fix this. Let’s put our heads together and think. How can we get them to admit their feelings without telling Connor that Kevin knows?”

“Ummm…” Arnold hummed for a few moments before looking up at Pop-Tarts. “Truth serum?”

“That isn’t a real thing, genius.” Pop-Tarts chided with an eye roll. “This isn’t Harry Potter.”

Then suddenly a light bulb went off in Pop-Tarts’s head.

“Wait a minute!” Pop-Tarts exclaimed, getting up to pace for a few moments before grinning toward Arnold. “Oh, you’re a genius, alright. Genius!”

“I am?” Arnold asked happily.

“I’m gonna need to run out to the store quick. Go tell Connor that I’ll be back in time for the party. Oh and tell him I’m not mad at Kevin anymore, that we made up, and that everything’s totally cool.” Pop-Tarts ordered, slipping on his shirt and shoes and heading for the door.

“Okay!” Arnold agreed. “But why?”

“Because the madness ends tonight, Arnold.” He assured, winking at at the chubbier boy and running out of the room, leaving Arnold feeling both excited and worried at the same time.

 

* * *

 

 

It was seven o’clock pm now and Kevin could overhear raucous laughter and playful shouting coming from outside his window, a surge of jealousy racing through his veins every time the happy sounds of pool games reverberated through the walls. The pool party was in full swing now and all of the Elders were clearly having a blast. He could hear splashing, joyful yells, and the sounds of grown boys doing cannonballs off a ladder.

“Wait, I can do it even better! Watch!” Pop-Tarts yelled for the fourth time before plunging hard into the water, eliciting laughter from Bradley Zelder and James Church.

“Good one!” James yelled, splashing his way toward the ladder. “Let me try.”

Kevin wanted nothing more than to join them in the fun, but after his uncomfortable conversation with Pop-Tarts and Connor earlier at dinner, he thought it would be best for everyone if he just stayed inside and avoided them for a little while. At least until he figured out his next move.

Sighing, Kevin tried to shift his concentration back to the mystery novel in his hands. However, every time he read a line or two, he found himself getting distracted by the sounds of merry jubilation coming from outside.

He overheard Pop-Tarts inquiring about Kevin’s whereabouts to the group with James responding as instructed with “Kevin told me he wasn’t feeling well”. _Thanks, James_.

Connor, Pop-Tarts and Arnold all seemed a bit overly interested in Kevin’s absence, but Kevin had told James to spread the word that he was feeling ill and wouldn’t be joining them. James just shrugged off the concerns of the other Elders and went to do another cannonball.

It wasn’t a total lie. Kevin _wasn’t_ feeling well. No, instead, he was feeling completely and utterly lost.

A part of him was overjoyed at the prospect of beginning something new and exciting with Connor. He knew the other boy liked him now. That fact was certain. But everything had gotten so convoluted because of the lies and the shyness and the uncertainty and the fact that neither of them had ever _done_ this before that it all just seemed so... _daunting_. The simple truth was that Kevin had absolutely no idea what to do next. The feelings they had for one another were strong, but endlessly confusing.

Another part of Kevin was still feeling hurt and annoyed about the lie. He knew it hadn’t come from a bad place, he _knew_ that, but it still bothered him that Connor had chosen to lie to him instead of just telling him the truth. Not to mention the fact that the Mormon upbringing within Kevin's psyche was constantly waging war against these strange, new feelings and he still wasn’t sure which side would emerge victorious.

Kevin was abruptly forced out of his reverie when he heard a soft knock at the door.

“Kevin? Are you in there?” He heard Connor ask quietly from the other side of the door. His voice did not sound angry or annoyed, as Kevin anticipated it would. Instead, it just sounded rather concerned. “Can I come in?”

Kevin froze. He wasn’t ready to talk about his feelings with Connor just yet. He needed more time, more planning, more thought, more… _everything_. But he also knew he couldn’t just avoid the other boy forever. He knew how much Connor cared about him and figured he was probably just checking in on him out of concern.

Kevin reluctantly hopped out of bed and grabbed his shirt and pants to put them back on. “One sec, Con, I’m not dressed!” He called through the door, appreciative of the extra time this would buy him.

Connor felt a hot blush wash over his cheeks at the thought of an undressed Kevin Price. “Oh, sorry. I’ll wait.”

Kevin quickly dressed himself and ran a comb through his hair, checking himself out in the mirror before finally opening the door.

The sight before him made Kevin’s heart nearly explode.

Connor was standing in front of him in snug navy blue swim shorts with a pink towel draped over his shoulders. Small water droplets were making their way down the pale, freckled skin of his chest and arms. And his skin just looked so _soft_ , Kevin thought to himself as he was trying to catch his breath. Connor’s piercing blue eyes were full of care and concern, his lips redder and puffier than usual, warm and inviting, his ginger hair completely and adorably mussed from swimming.

Kevin gasped for a split second at Connor’s appearance and bit his tongue so no other unwanted sounds could leak out of his mouth. He averted his gaze away from the boy’s dripping wet skin to look up into his eyes.

“Hey!” Connor greeted Kevin warmly. “What’s going on with you? Aren’t you gonna come outside and swim with us? Everyone’s wondering where you are.”

“Um.” Kevin stammered awkwardly, trying desperately not to stare at Connor’s wet, exposed skin. “Yeah, I was going to…but then I started, uh, not feeling well. Didn’t James tell you?”

“He did, but I wanted to check in anyway to see if you were feeling well enough to maybe…come out and join us? Besides, I didn’t get to give you your pool toy.” Connor spoke optimistically with a grin.

“I don’t think I can tonight, but I’m sure I’ll feel better by tomorrow.” Kevin countered, moving to shut the door.

Connor reached up to gently stop Kevin from closing the door, cocking his head to the side in an attempt to endear the brunette into coming out. “Come on, Kev, it’s over a hundred degrees in here! Aren’t you hot?”

Kevin was definitely feeling hot, both from the intense Ugandan heat and the half-dressed redhead in front of him, dripping from head to toe with pool water.

“The pool feels nice and cool. It’s _so_ refreshing.” Connor tried to entice him, gently tugging on the sleeve of Kevin’s arm. The touch was electrifying and sent a bolt of _something_ through Kevin’s body.

“You’re in a good mood.” Kevin noted in an unsure voice, a small smile playing at his lips.

Connor blushed and bit his lip shyly.

“Oh, well, um…Pop-Tarts surprised us all with a whole bunch of beer, so I might be _slightly_ tipsy.” Connor admitted through a giggle, his cheeks a soft, rosy red. “I know we’ve only tried alcohol a few times before, but he thought it might add a little extra fun to the pool party. We’re not gonna go crazy or anything, don’t worry.”

“Oh, wow.” Kevin mused, his interest peaking further. Maybe with his inhibitions lowered, Connor might finally admit the truth to him, Kevin wondered silently to himself. The prospect both elated and terrified him.

Connor continued to prod. “Come on, Kev, get your bathing suit on and come outside. Do I have to make that an order from your District Leader?”

Kevin’s mouth curled upward into a small smile at Connor’s slightly-tipsy insistence. “We got shut down, remember?" Kevin's confidence returning a bit. "You’re not _really_ our District Leader anymore.”

Connor cocked his head with a smirk. “Okay, fine, I may not be a _real_ District Leader anymore, but I still run this ship and I’m telling you to get your butt out there right now and have some fun, Kevin Price!”

Kevin bit his lip to hide the grin threatening to overtake his face. “I’ll think about it.”

“No, Kev, if you’re not out there in ten minutes, I’m just gonna come right back in here and ask you again. And again and again.” Connor warned playfully through a flirtatious giggle, his hand still holding onto Kevin’s arm. “Come on, just come outside and swim with us. Can’t you do that for me?”

Kevin felt his face flush. He kind of liked it whenever Connor got a little bossy and insistent. The redheaded boy was always unfailingly sweet and kind, but occasionally he showed that confident, assertive, District Leader-esque side of himself that made Kevin’s toes curl and a flood of heat rush to his cheeks.

“Yeah, I can. I can come outside.” Kevin finally stammered, a shy grin on his face. “Just let me get my swimsuit on first and I’ll meet you outside, okay?”

“Good! See you outside.” Connor grinned joyfully before twirling around to head back outside, Kevin watching as Connor walked out with a bit more skip in his step.


	6. Never Have I Ever Been Kissed…Until Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pop-Tarts suggests a drinking game to try and get the boys to admit their feelings. It doesn't go as planned.

After obsessing over his appearance in the mirror for a good ten or fifteen minutes, Kevin nervously made his way outside in a pair of dark purple swim trunks. He had a few pairs of Disney-themed swim trunks in his wardrobe, but opted for the more mature pair on this night. He didn’t want Connor to think he was too childish or anything.

Kevin began to realize, as he walked outside to the party, that he was suddenly worried about the weirdest things that he’d never cared about before in his life. Like whether or not his Disney swim trunks were too childish. Or making sure his hair was parted in just the right way. Or worrying about whether or not his voice would crack when saying hello to Connor.

Kevin walked outside to unexpected cheers from the other Elders when they saw him emerge, Connor laughing and bounding over in his direction.

“Yay, you made it!” Connor cried happily, flirtatiously hip-checking Kevin’s side and handing him a cup of beer. He was obviously feeling pretty good. “Cheers!”

Kevin felt his heart flutter a bit and clinked his cup to Connor’s. “Cheers!”

“Oh, come get your pool stuff!” Connor urged, taking Kevin by the hand and dragging him over to where the pile of tubes and pool supplies laid on the ground.

Connor picked up a large tube that had Ursula from the Little Mermaid printed on it. “You got an Ursula tube and—“, the redhead started before sifting through some other items, “—a Nemo beach ball!”

Kevin grinned at the sweet gesture from Connor, happily taking the items from him and walking towards the pool, most of his fears washing away.

The group spent the next couple of hours drinking beer and swimming merrily in the pool, no one mentioning the fact that Pop-Tarts and Connor were in a relationship, fake or otherwise, no one acting like a dick, level 10 or otherwise, and no one mentioning the obvious flirtation going on between Kevin and Connor, despite the fact that Connor was supposed to be dating Pop-Tarts.

No, it was simply a perfectly fun time with good friends having a blast together in their new pool—a lovely, refreshing respite from the sweltering Ugandan heat.

At least until Pop-Tarts decided to start loading Kevin and Connor up with more and more beer (aka “truth serum”, as he and Arnold had code named it) to get them feeling looser and suggesting a racy game of _Never Have I Ever_.

“Guys, have any of you played _Never Have I Ever_?” Pop-Tarts asked the group, who by now were all sitting lazily atop their various flotation devices, swimming more calmly around the pool, sipping their drinks.

Everyone shook their heads no.

“It’s a drinking game, but my friends and I used to play it with pop-tarts because, well, you know me.” Pop-Tarts admitted with a grin.

“You would.” James teased, playfully splashing Pop-Tarts with water. “So how do you play?”

Everyone looked expectantly up at Pop-Tarts to explain the rules.

“Okay, so it starts with someone saying ‘never have I ever…’ and then naming something that they’ve never done before.” Pop-Tarts explained. “So I could start the game by saying ‘never have I ever…smoked a cigarette’. If any of you have done it, you take a drink. If you haven’t done it, you do nothing. Get it?”

James mused. “So you like…learn each other’s secrets and stuff? While getting more and more drunk?”

Pop-Tarts nodded excitedly, glancing over at Kevin, who by now was looking increasingly nervous. “Right, you learn each other’s secrets. Kind of like _Truth or Dare_ , only without the dare.”

“We should play that one after!” James chimed in tipsily. “I love that game.”

“Okay, Arnold, why don’t you go first? Tell us something you’ve never, ever done before. Make it a good one.” Pop-Tarts prodded the dark-haired boy excitedly.

“But there’s _so_ many things I’ve never done before!” Arnold exclaimed, looking as though he was in deep thought about what fact he would divulge to the group. “Umm…oh, okay, I got one. Never have I ever…slept completely naked.”

Shy giggles erupted throughout the group at Arnold’s confession.

“Okay, so if any of you _have_ slept completely naked, take a drink.” Pop-Tarts instructed, taking a sip of his own drink.

Connor and Kevin glanced at each other shyly, each of them taking a sip of their drinks, Pop-Tarts staring at the pair with a wide grin.

“Let’s go clockwise. Kevin, you’re up next.” Pop-Tarts instructed to the boy sitting to the left of Arnold. “And make it a juicy one.”

Kevin squirmed awkwardly in his Ursula tube. “Juicy? Um…okay. Let me think.”

The brunette thought hard for a few moments before blushing and looking down, averting his eyes from the gazes of the Elders surrounding him. “Uh…okay. Well, never have I ever…been… um, kissed…before.”

Connor’s eyes widened at the confession. He had thought for sure Kevin would have been kissed at least once before in his life. After all, he was smart, gorgeous, funny, sweet…Connor could go on all day about the boy’s many attributes. And he’d never been kissed? Not even _once_?

“Does being kissed on the cheek count?” James asked tipsily, not sure if he should take a drink or not.

“No.” Kevin shifted awkwardly. “Never have I ever been kissed on the …lips.”

“What if the person kissing you is your Aunt Betty who kisses you on the lips because she’s senile and smells like moth balls?” Neeley asked quizzically, also not sure if he should drink.

Kevin sighed. “No, none of those count. I meant…never have I ever been kissed on the lips by someone I _liked_ or…even someone I didn’t like. Anyone but your Aunt Betty. She doesn’t count, okay?”

James, Neeley, and Kevin had never been kissed on the lips by someone other than Aunt Betty or their moms, but the rest of the Elders all took sips of their drinks.

Connor, admittedly, had also never been kissed on the lips before, not even once, but he knew everyone was under the assumption that he’d kissed Pop-Tarts, so he took a sip of his drink anyway, sighing sadly at having to lie once again.

“Alright, Neeley. You’re up.” Pop-Tarts urged.

As Neeley was trying to think of a good one, Connor used his arms to cross the water and push his floaty closer to Kevin’s.

“So, you’ve really never been kissed before?” Connor asked in a soft whisper to the brunette who was quietly sitting atop his Ursula tube beside him.

Kevin shook his head and looked away from Connor’s gaze. “Uh, no, I haven’t.”

“After all the time we’ve spent together, I didn’t know that about you.” Connor mused, a twinkle in his eye. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I guess it just never came up.” Kevin shrugged, his eyes still not meeting Connor’s gaze.

“I’m surprised.” Connor noted with a hint of amusement in his voice, inching towards Kevin’s tube a little more. “That you’ve never been kissed, I mean.”

“Um, you are?” Kevin asked awkwardly, finally looking up to meet Connor’s eyes which were as blue as the water they floated in. _God, they’re beautiful._

“Yeah, I mean…just _look_ at you. You’re just—I mean, you’re so—“

Connor was cut off by Michaels poking him urgently in the arm.

“It’s your turn, Connor!” Michaels slurred from too much beer.

“ _No_! What are you doing?” Pop-Tarts yelped loudly at Michaels.

Everyone instantly turned to stare at Pop-Tarts, confused as to why he just yelled at Michaels out of nowhere.

“Errr…I mean, um, yeah it’s your turn, Con.” Pop-Tarts agreed mournfully. _Damn you, Michaels_. _They were so close!_

Connor shifted uncomfortably in his tube, a small smile playing at his lips. “Okay. Uh…never have I ever…um, watched a dirty movie?”

Kevin giggled and didn’t take a sip from his cup. “Good one.”

Connor bit his lip shyly. “Thanks.”

Only two of the Elders took sips out of their cups and thus admitted to having watched a dirty movie before, eliciting teasing oohs and aahs from the rest of the group.

After playing the game for a few more minutes, James suggested switching to _Truth or Dare_ , after discovering that most of his fellow Elders had never played before.

James explained the rules to the group. “It’s so easy, when it’s your turn, you just spin this bottle here”, gesturing to the empty beer bottle they’d placed on a boogie board in the center of the pool. “Whoever it lands on has to choose truth or dare. If you choose truth, you have to answer the person’s question honestly. If you choose dare, you have to do the dare.”

“Pop-Tarts, you go first. Spin the bottle.” James urged his friend floating next to him.

Pop-Tarts swam to the bottle and spun it around, praying it would land on one of the two boys in their fake love triangle so he could try and force one of them to admit the truth.

His luck won out. It landed on Connor. A very jovial, bit-too-tipsy-for-his-own-good, Connor.

“Okay, Con.” Pop-Tarts started with a mischievous grin. “Truth or dare?”

Connor giggled shyly and twirled himself around in his tube thoughtfully. “Hmmmmm.”

“Come on, Con, just pick one.”

“I’m feeling a little frisky tonight, so I’ll choose…dare!” Connor exclaimed happily, still twirling idly in his tube.

Pop-Tarts rubbed his hands together nervously in anticipation of the dare he wanted to give Connor. _Should I do this? Will it be too much?_ The amount of alcohol Pop-Tarts had ingested over the past few hours, coupled with his desire to end this ongoing struggle between Kevin and Connor clouded his judgment.

“I dare you, Connor McKinley.” Pop-Tarts started. “To kiss…”

Gasps were heard around the pool.

“…Kevin Price…”

Everyone’s mouths were gaped open, staring at Pop-Tarts.

“…on the lips.” Pop-Tarts finally finished, smirking at his best friend across the pool with a knowing look on his face.

Connor froze mid-twirl and turned to look at his best friend incredulously. “ _What_ did you just say?”

“I said…I dare you to kiss Kevin Price.” Pop-Tarts repeated with a wicked grin on his face, pointing in Kevin’s direction. “…on the lips. He’s apparently never been kissed before, so this is the perfect dare.”

Connor turned as pale as a sheet and Kevin looked as though he wanted to die right there.

“I don’t think this is a very good—“, Neeley started, but got cut off by Pop-Tarts.

“Well, are you gonna do it or are you gonna chicken out? Buck, buck, buck!” Pop-Tarts taunted, trying to get his friend to just go for it.

James was very confused at this latest development. _Why would Pop-Tarts do this?_ _Isn’t he Connor’s boyfriend now?_

“Umm…but aren’t you guys, uh, dating each other? And you want him to kiss… _Kevin_?” James asked quizzically. “Isn’t that a little—“

“Its just a game, James!” Pop-Tarts snapped, a bit harsher than intended. “It’s all just for fun, okay?”

James held up his hands. “Okay, okay! I was just asking.”

Connor glared at Pop-Tarts before popping out of his tube and slowly making his way over to where Kevin was standing awkwardly in his tube, leaning up against the side of the pool near the ladder.

Connor felt as though his heart was going to beat right out of his chest as he made his way over to the dazzling brunette he wanted so badly to kiss.

Kevin wanted to turn away from those soft blue eyes that were gazing into his own, inching their way closer to where he was standing, but both boys felt as though there was some sort of invisible magnet locking their gazes together, somehow—neither one of them capable of looking away from the other.

Connor’s face was now only a few inches away from Kevin’s, blushed once again, cute rosy splotches adorning his freckled cheeks. Kevin’s face was beet red as well, his insides sick and flip-flopping. Water droplets trickled their way down both boys’ faces.

Connor’s lips curled up into a shy smile in anticipation of kissing Kevin for the first time. He was angry at Pop-Tarts for even giving him the dare, but any anger he felt was quickly overshadowed by his drunken lizard brain just wanting so desperately to kiss Kevin. On the lips. _His first kiss. I get to be his first kiss_. _We get to be each other’s first kiss._

Kevin wasn’t ready for any of this. It was all too sudden and insane and _gay_ and wrong and sinful and new and scary and…

Before he knew it, Connor’s wet, puffy, surprisingly warm lips were pressed up against his own. Kevin's insides instantly began to melt as he felt the softness of Connor’s lips, his organs feeling like nothing more than melted chocolate oozing out of his skin. He couldn’t feel anything anymore other than Connor’s lips on his own. The rest of the world was suddenly gone, no longer existing for Kevin Price. Connor’s lips felt perfect and sweet and loving and beautiful. He felt electric tingles shoot haphazardly throughout his body, especially down in his groin area where he could feel a growing tightness begin to form. Kevin found that he could no longer breathe, could no longer see or hear, could no longer even…think...until he felt Connor’s nervous, shaking hand reach up to cup his wet cheek and pull him in closer, deepening the kiss. Kevin’s mind started to come back online and all the bad, negative thoughts he’d had before all of this came flooding back to the forefront.

All of a sudden, Kevin found himself violently shoving Connor away, pushing him so hard he fell backwards into the water with a splash. The silence was deafening as the other Elders just watched on at the spectacle before them, not knowing what to do or say or how to behave.

Kevin didn’t know why he had just done that, pushed Connor away like that. All he knew was that he had to. Being able to once again see clearly, he glanced around at the staring Elders’ gazes with their open, gaping mouths, then down at Connor’s crestfallen face. The boy’s blue eyes looked heartbroken now, shocked by Kevin’s abrupt ending of their first kiss.

Kevin’s eyes filled with fresh tears and before he knew it, he was up and over the ladder and racing towards the house at high velocity speed.

“Kevin, wait!” Connor shouted after him, moving towards the ladder to exit the pool. Turning back around for a moment towards Pop-Tarts, Connor met his best friend’s apologetic gaze with an angry glare. “I can’t believe you did this! You just…you just went too far this time.”

Connor looked away from Pop-Tarts and ran toward the house, trying to catch up with Kevin, who by now had probably locked himself in his bedroom.

“This was such a bad idea.” Arnold lamented sadly towards Pop-Tarts, who was becoming used to feeling a growing sense of dread well up in his belly. _Yes. Yes, it was._

Pop-Tarts closed his eyes, wishing he could have been anywhere else in the entire world other than here—surrounded by a group of confused Elders, who were going to want to know what the Hell was going on with their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments and kudos you've been leaving! <3 They really motivate me to write more, so thank you SO much for your kinds words. This fic will only have 1-2 more chapters so a happy ending is near! :)


	7. Why Does Everything Have to be So Hard?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin stormed off last chapter after Connor kissed him on a dare. Connor chases after Kevin and in a moment of semi-drunken desperation, tells Kevin about his true feelings and the lie. Kevin's response is not what he wants to hear.

Pop-Tarts was overwhelmed with nothing but pure guilt as he slowly trudged his way back to the mission house, the pool party abruptly cut short after the tumultuous scene between Kevin and Connor during a drunken game of _Truth or Dare_. The blonde boy knew it was all his own fault. Things had gotten incredibly awkward after Kevin pushed Connor away from their kiss-on-a-dare, causing Connor to yell angrily at Pop-Tarts and race toward the house after a distraught, and probably highly confused, Kevin Price.

Pop-Tarts knew, in hindsight at least, that they shouldn’t have done it. They should have never, ever bought all that beer or given Connor the dare to kiss Kevin or any of the other cockamamie schemes they had come up with in the past few days to try and get the two boys together. Something that had started out with such good intentions had rapidly deteriorated into nothing but a mess of lies, deceit and broken hearts.

“Don’t worry, buddy!” Arnold assured, through rough breaths as he was quickening his pace to try and catch up with Pop-Tarts. “Connor won’t stay mad at you for long. You know that, don’t you?”

“I don’t want to hear it, Arnold.” Pop-Tarts snapped angrily. He _didn’t_ want to hear it. He knew he messed up big this time and Connor had every right not to forgive him. In fact, Pop-Tarts honestly half-expected to find his stuff thrown out of their shared room and into the hallway.

“You know deep down that Connor’s just a big old softie. He’ll come around.” Arnold insisted, catching up enough to be able to give Pop-Tarts a friendly pat on the back. “Besides, he can’t leave his companion. It’s against the rules!”

“We don’t follow the rules anymore, remember?” Pop-Tarts groaned in annoyance. “Just leave me alone, Arnold. I’m not in the mood.”

“Okay, but I really think we can fix this though.” Arnold offered enthusiastically. “I’ve been thinking it over and I have a new idea that I really think is going to—“.

“Nope, not gonna happen.” Pop-Tarts deflected the idea without hesitation. “No more plans, no more ideas, Arnold. We’re done.”

“Okay but seriously just listen for one sec—“, Arnold started, before getting cut off.

“No! We’ve already screwed everything up to the point where I don’t even know if it’s fixable anymore. Just let it go, okay?” Pop-Tarts pleaded as they entered the mission house, which was pretty quiet now since most of the Elders had scurried off to their rooms after the uncomfortable scene earlier.

“Alright, fine, I admit, we _totally_ messed up with the beer thing. That was such a bad idea. And the drinking game kinda backfired too. I completely agree. Those were super bad moves on our part.” Arnold stated in a voice that was just a little too chipper for Pop-Tarts’s current foul mood. “But that doesn’t mean we didn’t help them out, at least a little bit! Come on, dude, were you not watching the same kiss I was? I’m not gay or anything, but that was one _seriously_ intense first kiss. I mean, for a second there, I thought they were gonna start groping each other and making out or some—”

“Oh my gosh, Arnold, will you just _shut up_?” Pop-Tarts chided the chubbier boy in a raised, exasperated voice. “We’re done, okay? No more plans, no more schemes, no more anything. They can work it out for themselves, I’m going to bed.” As he approached the door to his and Connor’s room, he sighed sadly and turned around to walk back into the living room. “On the couch.”

 

* * *

 

Connor had caught up with Kevin just in time to hear his bedroom door slam shut with a bang.

“Kevin!” The redhead shouted hoarsely from outside the closed door, heaving now from being so out of breath from chasing after Kevin. All of the alcohol from earlier definitely was not helping his physical stamina either, his brain feeling all fuzzy and light. “Please open the door, Kevin. I just want to talk about this, that’s all. Let me in, please.”

Connor’s plea to talk was met with nothing but silence.

“Kevin, I am _so_ sorry. Please believe me. I’m so sorry about all of this. Just let me in so we can talk about it. Please?” Connor pleaded again, his voice cracking slightly. He thought he heard what sounded like a muffled sob come from inside the room, but it vanished so quickly that he wasn’t quite certain what he had heard.

Connor continued, his voice strained with worry. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, Kevin—that we’re—that you and I are okay. We’re—we’re okay, right?”

When he heard no response yet again, Connor felt a few rogue tears leak out of his eyes. Moaning in agony, he leaned back against the bedroom door and slid down so he was sitting on the floor in front of Kevin and Arnold’s shared bedroom, his head resting haphazardly on the wood of the door. Water from his soaking wet bathing suit dripped unceremoniously all over the floor, his snug shorts sticking to his thighs like glue, which now just felt awfully uncomfortable against his skin.

“Pop-Tarts should have never dared me to kiss you. It was wrong of him and I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow, but I’m sure he didn’t mean to cause you any pain or anything. He meant well, I’m sure of it.” Connor paused for a moment, wondering whether or not he should just go ahead and finally divulge to Kevin everything that has been going on—the truth about his and Pop-Tarts fake relationship, his real feelings towards Kevin—everything.

The silence sounded utterly deafening to Connor, who just desperately wanted to make things right again.

“And I, um—“, Connor started in a shaky voice before swallowing hard, his nerves entirely on edge now. “And I was wrong for going along with it. I was so, _so_ wrong, Kevin. I should never have kissed you. Not like that, at least. Not on some stupid, drunken dare. It wasn’t right, I know that. But, the truth is, I just—I just couldn’t help myself.” He paused for a deep breath. “I’ve actually wanted to kiss you for a really long time now. And in that moment, I just lost it. I don’t think all that beer helped my self-control much either. Everyone was standing there, waiting for me to kiss you, so I… _did_.”

Connor couldn’t believe he had finally confessed his feelings to Kevin, that he’d been practically aching to kiss him all this time, and paused to see if Kevin would respond. Nothing.

“I really like you, Kevin. I like you as so much more than a friend. That’s the truth. I guess I never told you because I was scared of what you’d say or what you’d think. I was worried you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore and I just couldn’t risk losing you.”

Connor thought he heard another muffled noise coming from inside the boy’s bedroom, a gasp or sigh or some kind of hushed sound, but then it was gone after a moment, so he continued.

“I didn’t know whether or not you even found boys attractive or if you even liked me like that at all. But when Pop-Tarts dared me to kiss you, I just couldn’t stop myself. I think about doing it all the time. Kissing you, I mean.” Connor took another pause, trying to better formulate this run-on, awkward, mess of words he was attempting to string together. He wasn’t sure if any of this was even making sense to Kevin.

The redhead continued in a soft voice. “But I shouldn’t have done it, not like that, not on some stupid dare. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable, Kevin. I hope you know that. I never want to make you feel awkward or troubled or sad or anything. That’s not what I want. That’s the complete opposite of what I want.”

His heartfelt words were merely met with more of the same deafening silence.

“Gosh, I’m just so stupid!” Connor shook his head, lamenting, before banging it hard against the wood of the door. “I thought that maybe, just maybe, if we kissed, you might…I don’t know, realize you actually did have feelings for me and that maybe you did like me all this time or something and all you needed was a kiss to tell you that. Something like that, I don’t even know.”

After a few more moments of silence, Connor couldn’t take it anymore. He readied himself to finally tell Kevin the truth. “If this— _we_ , I mean—ever have any chance of being a thing, then I need to be honest with you. I was never in a relationship with Pop-Tarts, Kevin. He’s my best friend, but that’s it. It was all just a stupid lie to try and get you to admit your feelings and I’m sorry.”

Connor really thought he would get some kind of reaction after _that_ whomp of a confession, but still nothing.

“It was our best friends’ idea, actually, not mine. Pop-Tarts and Arnold came up with all of it.” Connor chuckled sadly at that. “They just wanted to help us, that’s all. They thought that if you saw me with another guy that you’d get jealous and finally admit you liked me. I didn’t want to go along with it at first, but then when we were watching the movie together the other night and I accidentally called you cute, I just—I just went along with it. But I didn’t mean to cause you any pain, I truly didn’t. All I wanted was to know the truth. I just wanted to know how you felt about me, that’s all. I should have just _asked_ you instead of doing all of this. But I was afraid. I was afraid that you wouldn’t be my friend anymore once you knew how I felt about you.”

After a few moments of silence, Connor continued in a small voice. “You know, I still have no idea how you really feel about me. Even after _all_ of this, I have absolutely no clue what’s going on in that head of yours. Arnold tells me you like me in that way. He insists on it even. I even started to believe it when I saw how sad your face looked when I told you I got together with Pop-Tarts…well, I was _sure_ you liked me after that. I was so _sure_. That’s why I just went along with the dare, the kiss, everything…I was so sure you’d kiss me back. And you did. And it was wonderful, but then you pushed me away like you always do and now I’m back at square one. I have no idea. One minute, it seems like you feel the same way and then the next, you just—“

Suddenly, Connor found himself falling backwards into the bedroom as Kevin opened the door unexpectedly.

Connor scrambled to try and stand up, but instead just slipped on the soaking wet floor. “Owww!” He yelped as his bottom hit the floor with a loud thud.

Kevin reached out his hand to help Connor stand up, pulling him upwards so the two boys were now facing each other. They were both still dripping wet with pool water, the ground now covered in it.

“Hi, Kevin.” Connor managed to squeak out awkwardly, suddenly very shy and timid— _afraid_. It had been so easy to divulge his true feelings to Kevin through the hard wood of the door that had been separating them mere moments before, not having to look at the other boy’s face. But now, looking into Kevin’s eyes that were pooled with tears, some of which dripped slowly down his red cheeks, all he felt were fear and self-consciousness.

“I already knew about the lie, Connor.” Kevin stated through a shaky inhalation of breath. “Arnold already told me everything.”

Connor’s eyes widened in shock as he suddenly felt his adrenaline surge. “ _What_? You—you knew?”

Kevin nodded slowly and stepped closer to Connor. “I started crying in front of Arnold and I guess it just broke him and he told me everything. He wasn’t trying to hurt you or anything, it just slipped out I guess.”

Connor let out a long, regretful moan, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “When—when did you find out?”

“Yesterday.” Kevin divulged with a bite of his bottom lip. “When we were finishing up the pool.”

“So you knew about this…all day today? During the whole party? You knew?” Connor asked timidly, not wanting to look back up into Kevin’s eyes.

“I knew.” Kevin admitted with a smile so small, it was barely there. “But it’s okay, I’m not mad about it anymore.”

“Why didn’t you just say something to me then?” Connor asked meekly, tears beginning to fall from his own cheeks. “You just let me make—make a fool out of myself.”

“I was waiting for you to tell me the truth. I thought I’d….I don’t know, get back at you or something for lying to me and making me feel so bad the other day when you—when you told me you were dating Pop-Tarts.” Kevin admitted, biting his lip. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you or anything, I was just being stubborn, I guess. It was stupid.”

Connor sniffled through tears. “I guess I deserved it.”

“Yeah, you did.” Kevin allowed a small smirk to grow on his face. “But it’s okay. I know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”

“I wasn’t. I really wasn’t.” Connor affirmed, finally looking up fearfully into Kevin’s eyes. “So, um…can I—can I come in now? I think we really need to just sit down together and talk about our, uh…feelings and stuff.” The redhead blushed and looked toward the ground. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet.” Kevin admitted softly with a blush adorning his cheeks. “I’m just so confused right now. I think I need to sort out my own feelings first and then we can talk, okay?”

Connor’s heart instantly sank, his blood running cold. “Oh.” He took a pause to nod sadly and swallow. “Okay, I guess I can understand that. So…you’re still not sure how you feel then?”

Kevin placed a gentle hand on Connor’s arm. “It’s not your fault, Con. It’s me. My brain is all confused and weird and I just need to figure some stuff out first, that’s all. Am I making any sense?”

Connor nodded as he felt fresh tears pooling behind his eyes. After a moment, he let out a pained laugh. “It’s kind of funny, isn’t it? This whole time, I was trying to figure out whether or not you liked me in that way and now I find out that _you_ don’t even know how you feel about me. It’s sort of ironic, no?”

Kevin’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Looking into Connor’s crestfallen eyes for a moment, Kevin then realized what the other boy thought he meant. Kevin wasn’t confused about whether or not he liked _Connor_ , he was confused about the possibility of being _gay_. He knew all too well that he liked Connor, in that way, but he was having trouble accepting the fact that Connor was a boy.

“Oh, you think— _no_ , that’s not it at all! That’s not what I’m trying to—” Kevin started to explain, but was cut off immediately by a very distraught Connor.

“I never had _any_ doubt about my feelings for you, Kevin. I’ve felt this way about you from the first moment you walked through that front door and with every day that passes, my feelings for you just get stronger and stronger to the point where I can barely handle it anymore. Even when you were acting like a complete _asshat_ , Kevin, I still liked you.” Connor shook his head sadly, tears now flowing freely from his eyes and down his face. “And even after all this time we’ve spent together, after how close we’ve gotten, you _still_ don’t know whether or not you feel the same way about me? If you don’t know by now, the answer is probably a big, fat _no_.” Connor stressed in a pained voice with a few hiccups from the alcohol and the tears and the moment. “I’m so stupid for even _thinking_ you might have those kinds of feelings for me, for believing Arnold and Chris when they said—“

“No, you don’t understand what I’m trying to say, Connor. That’s not—“, Kevin tried to cut him off, but Connor just interrupted him again, not really hearing anything the other boy was trying to say.

“When you finally figure it out, you let me know, okay?” The redhead uncharacteristically snapped with a slight anger to his tone as he turned to walk into the bathroom that was adjacent to Kevin and Arnold’s room. “Maybe I’ll still be waiting around for you, maybe I won’t!” He shouted back to Kevin as he stepped into the bathroom.

He needed to get away from Kevin. He needed to shower the chlorinated pool water and tears and alcohol off of him. He needed a safe, private place to cry his eyes out where no one would barge in on him.

“Connor, wait!” Kevin urged with a shriek, following the boy over to the bathroom, only to be met with the door slamming in his face. “You don’t understand! That’s not what I meant, you idiot!”

Kevin overheard a burst of uncontrollable sobs erupt from Connor as he turned the shower on. Sighing sadly, the confused brunette banged his head against the door and whispered to himself. “Why does everything have to be so hard?”


	8. The Plan that (Finally) Goes Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin writes a heartfelt letter to Connor that culminates in them finally getting together (aka the happy ending).

Kevin waited over an hour for Connor to finally exit the bathroom. He suspected most of that time was probably spent crying, which sent Kevin into a pit of guilt. He really couldn’t do anything right, it seemed. At least not when it came to Connor McKinley. Kevin didn’t want Connor to be sad or hurt or crying. That was the exact opposite of what he wanted to come from their conversation. All Kevin really needed was some time to think things through, that was all. Connor had taken his request for more time the wrong way. Kevin was more than certain about his feelings for Connor—he just didn’t want to _have_ those feelings in the first place. 

After Connor finished showering and ran quickly into his own bedroom, Kevin took his turn to wash up. Afterwards, he went back into his and Arnold’s room to wallow and hopefully pass out asleep for the next ten hours or so. He just needed time alone to think, to process, to _sleep_. But, of course, when he entered the bedroom, there was Arnold, chipper as ever, sitting up in his bed, wide awake and waiting for Kevin to arrive so they could talk about feelings and crap.

“Arnold, I really don’t feel like talking right now.” Kevin sighed, climbing slowly into bed and allowing his head to hit the pillow with a thud. “I’m so sick of talking.”

Arnold silently got up off his bed, the old tattered bed springs making a loud creak as he did so, and crawled into Kevin’s, wrapping one arm around his friend, his chubby backside hanging off the small twin bed.

Kevin turned to glare quizzically at his best friend. “What on Earth are you doing?”

“I’m comforting you.” Arnold stated matter-of-factly. “I overheard you and Connor. We, uh, we all did actually. You guys were kinda loud. So, um, everyone knows now.”

“Great.” Kevin sighed mournfully and rolled over on his side, away from Arnold. “That’s just…great.”

“Connor will calm down, Kev. You know he will. Then you can tell him how you’re completely head over heels in love with him and everything can go back to normal. It’ll all work out, buddy.” Arnold said optimistically, giving Kevin a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I know it will!”

“I know he’ll calm down.” Kevin admitted with a hard sigh. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still feel really confused. Nobody seems to get that. Everyone just acts as though I shouldn’t have any kind of problem with this whole thing.”

“What’s there to be confused about?” Arnold asked quizzically. “Two days ago, you told me how you felt about Connor. You’re crazy about him. He’s crazy about you. The lies are all out in the open. There’s nothing more to be confused about.”

“No?” Kevin asked with a pained voice as he sat up a little to face Arnold. “How about the fact that I don’t _want_ to be gay, Arnold? How about that? Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I don’t want to go back home a year from now and have to explain to my Mormon parents that I have a—a _boyfriend_? How do you think that will go down? You think my mom and dad will just be completely fine with that? The answer is no, Arnold. They’re going to freak out and have a fit. Their perfect little Mormon son isn’t supposed to be gay or have a boyfriend. It’s going to be just awful. I can already see how it'll all play out. My mom crying about what everyone will think of them once people find out, my dad screaming at me that I’m an abomination. I can just see it all, Arnold, and I don’t like it one bit.”

Arnold nodded and squeezed Kevin closer to him. “It’s gonna be really hard, buddy. Don’t you think I know that? I never said it was going to be easy, but you can’t just deny your feelings like this. You can’t turn it off anymore. We all agreed to stop doing that, remember? It’s just not healthy.”

“I know, but you don’t under—“, Kevin started.

“No. You deserve to have love even if that love is with a boy. You know that. I know you do. You’ve just been brainwashed by the Church into thinking that it’s wrong, but it’s not. It’s not wrong. Deep down, you know that too.” Arnold argued softly, holding Kevin close. “I know you do.”

“Please just get out of my bed, Arnold.” Kevin groaned loudly in annoyance, turning away from him. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just want to go to sleep.”

“Okay, but just please promise me you’ll think about what I said?” Arnold pressed on. “I really think you two have something special together. I really do. Don’t just throw that away because it means you might not be your parents’ ‘perfect Mormon son’ anymore. You’re allowed to live your own life and have love and all that without feeling guilty about it.” Arnold advised, slowly getting up out of Kevin’s bed. “Just…please think about it, okay?”

It took a moment, but eventually Kevin nodded before turning over to go to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning—well, early afternoon really since it was past twelve o’clock in the afternoon—Kevin got out of bed feeling somewhat refreshed. He did have at least one Hell dream but that was par for the course these days since he discovered he had romantic feelings for his former District Leader. All in all, though, Kevin felt fairly well-rested and was ready to contemplate the situation at hand.

He ended up spending most of the day hiding in his bedroom, trying to think things over. He didn’t want to confront Connor just yet and, luckily for him, no one bothered him all day. Not even Connor or Arnold. Kevin was relieved at that because he needed a lot of time to mull over his feelings before talking to anyone about it. He spent hours thinking and reeling—especially about what Arnold had said to him the night before.

A few hours later, Kevin ended up taking an accidental nap after he fell asleep around four o’clock in the afternoon. When he woke up at about five o’clock, Arnold was sitting up in his bed next to Kevin, re-reading the fourth Harry Potter book in his underwear.

He saw Kevin sit up in his bed and grinned over at his best friend. “Morning, sunshine!”

Kevin grumbled at his friend’s cheerfulness and slipped his robe over his temple garments. “I needed the extra sleep, okay? I’ve been thinking all day. It must have worn me out or something.”

“I know.” Arnold replied earnestly and sat up to face Kevin, putting his book down. “So…did you give any thought to what I said?”

Kevin nodded with a shrug. “Yeah, I did actually.”

“And?”

“And…I think you might be right, after all.” Kevin admitted, biting his lip shyly. “I guess I should try and talk to Connor about how I feel…or something.” He swallowed hard and looked down at his lap. “Um, how—how is he doing today, by the way?”

“Not so great. We barely saw him all day. After breakfast, he spent most of the day hiding in his room too.” Arnold sighed with a smirk. “You’re both such morons, honestly.”

Kevin let himself chuckle lightly at that, but then turned quiet. “How do you think I should, um…go about doing this? Just knock on his door or something?”

“Actually, I have an idea about that. Pop-Tarts wouldn’t listen to me but I think you’ll like this one.” Arnold said enthusiastically as he made his way over to Kevin’s bed to give him the details.

 

* * *

 

Connor was laying in his bed in his temple garments, curled up into a tiny ball underneath his covers, sniffling quietly, when he heard an odd sound coming from his door. He sat up, wiping his eyes, and moved toward the door to see what was going on. He saw a piece of paper had been pushed into the room from underneath the door. _Weird_. Connor thought to himself and bent down to pick it up.

 

_Dear Connor,_

_I am so sorry I made you cry last night. I’m sorry for every time I’ve ever made you cry. I want you to know how much I hate seeing you like that. It kills me inside, especially when I’m the one who caused it. It breaks my heart to know that I’ve caused all of this with my wishy-washy attitude and weirdness about my feelings. I am writing this letter because it’s easier for me to explain how I feel this way than when I try to talk to you in person. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but it’s true. This was all Arnold’s idea, by the way. I know I’m smart, but sometimes he’s smarter than me about these things. ;) As you probably know by now, I’m not very good at these things._

 

Connor’s mouth curled up into a small smile at Kevin's words, despite his eyes now dripping with fresh tears. Not sad tears per se, but just from being overwhelmed at receiving such an honest, heartfelt letter from Kevin.

 

 _Anyway, I want to first tell you how much I really do like you, so that you can just put all of your worries and fears to rest. I like you, Connor. I like you so much it overwhelms me sometimes. Not just as a friend either, but as much more than a friend. I’ve never had a crush on anyone before, boy or girl. I was always so focused on being the best at everything that I never thought much about relationships or crushes or kissing or anything like that. But with you, I feel all of the things you’re supposed to feel when you like someone like that, in that way._  

_I love the way you look at me, I love your smile, your soft red hair, your freckles, the way you bite your lips and run your fingers through your hair when you’re nervous. But most of all, I love who you are as a person. You’re so good to all of us here. You make us breakfast every morning and help us whenever we have a problem. You volunteer over at the school and always help the villagers whenever they need anything. You’re funny and smart and sweet and have really soft skin. I love everything about you, Connor McKinley. I really do. And I didn’t just realize this today, I’ve known for a long time now. Maybe not from the first moment I walked into this place, but soon after, I started to figure it out._

 

Connor felt his heart practically stop beating. The tears running down his face were now a mixture of feeling awful for having made Kevin feel so guilty and happiness at finally knowing how his longtime crush truly felt about him. No more guessing, no more lies, no more hiding from their feelings. This time, Connor knew the truth. And the truth was wonderful to hear.

 

_I just didn’t want to feel this way, that’s all. My parents always told me I would grow up and marry a good Mormon girl one day and have a big, Mormon family and succeed in whatever I wanted to do as long as I obeyed the rules and believed in Heavenly Father. Obviously, that all changed after we got shut down. For the first time in my life, I failed at something. I actually failed. I couldn’t believe it. That had never happened to me before. I know that sounds kind of dumb, but it’s true. My parents forgave me for what happened here and agreed to let me stay and continue my mission. But being gay? Having a boyfriend? I’m not so sure they would ever forgive me for that one. So I’m scared, Connor. That’s all. I’m just scared._

 

Connor couldn’t believe what he was reading. _That’s_ what this has been about this whole time? Kevin was turning it off? The brunette boy was never unsure about his feelings for Connor, he realized as he re-read Kevin’s heartbreaking words, he was just scared about having them at all. Connor McKinley knew all too well what _that_ felt like. _All too well._

Connor couldn’t believe he hadn’t picked up on the fact that Kevin was trying to turn off his feelings this whole time. He’d just always assumed that if Kevin Price wanted something, Kevin Price would get it, be damned what anyone else thought. But the redheaded boy started to realize, as he re-read the painful words over and over, that Kevin Price was much more vulnerable than he’d ever thought possible. Guilt flooded Connor’s already over-stimulated senses. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. Kevin Price did like him after all, but he was just… _scared_.

 

_So now you know how I feel about you. Now you know why I’ve been so hot and cold and why I needed time to think about my feelings. It wasn’t because I wasn’t sure about my feelings for you, but because I wasn’t sure if I could follow through with them. I was just scared, that’s all. I’m sorry if I caused you any pain over these past few months, but I really do like you and I hope you’ll give me another chance. Arnold says he thinks we have something really special and I agree with him. I hope you do too._

_If you want to, please meet me over at the café for dinner tonight around 8 so we can talk. If you want to call it a date, that’s fine with me too. ;)_

_~Kevin_

 

Connor sniffled and shakily placed the letter on his nightstand and took in a deep breath. He felt bombarded by so many emotions all at once—guilt, stress, desire, sadness—but most of all, he just felt happy. He showered and sprayed some cologne on his neck before putting on his best normal-person clothes—a short-sleeved light blue button down shirt and khakis—and headed out the door to the café. He may or may not have skipped there, but that was entirely up to the eye of the beholder.

 

* * *

 

 

Kevin was already sitting at the café, facing his own lap, twiddling his thumbs and perspiring profusely, when Connor arrived. He only looked up when he heard Connor take the seat across from him.

“Hey.” Kevin murmured in a soft voice as he looked up into Connor’s eyes. “I was getting worried you wouldn’t come. It’s ten after eight.” 

“Sorry I’m late. I guess I spent too much time getting ready.” Connor admitted with a blush, but then smiled affectionately. A few quiet moments passed, neither of them quite sure what to do.

Connor spoke up first in a soft, apologetic voice. “Your letter was so beautiful, Kevin. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel guilty for wanting more time to sort out your feelings. That was so selfish of me. I can’t believe I ever made you feel that way. I’m just…so sorry. You can take all the time you need, okay?”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m sorry for acting so wishy-washy about my feelings. That couldn’t have been very fun for you.” Kevin shook his head sadly. “And I don’t need any more time to think. I’ve made my decision.”

“So this can all be put behind us now?” Connor asked hopefully and reached out to take Kevin’s hands into his. “We’re good?”

Kevin nodded with a warm smile and gave Connor’s hands a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “We’re good.”

Connor bit his bottom lip pensively and cleared his throat. “Can I ask you just one last thing? You know, before we put it behind us?”

“You can ask me anything, Connor. You can always ask me anything. I don’t want us to have any secrets from each other from now on.” Kevin replied softly with a small smile, thumbing a small tender circle into the top of one of Connor’s hands, causing the redhead’s heart to flutter a little. “What do you want to know?”

“Why didn’t you just come and talk to me about the thoughts you were having? I mean, you know better than anyone how hard it was for me to accept that I’m gay and finally come out. I spent my entire life turning off those feelings. I would have been the perfect person to talk to. I would’ve understood everything you were feeling. I could’ve helped you.” Connor’s voice sounded slightly pained at the missed opportunity. “You knew that, but you didn’t talk to me. Why?”

Kevin shrugged and glanced down at his own lap shyly, averting his eyes from Connor’s. “I guess because all my gay thoughts were about… _you_. So I didn’t want you to find out. I thought I could just will them away somehow, you know? I really believed that if I tried hard enough, I’d stop thinking about you like that. But instead it just kept getting stronger.” He shook his head and looked up into Connor’s eyes. “But I’m done fighting it, okay? I want this just as much as you do, I promise. I want us to be together and, um, _happy_. I hope you still want that too.”

“I do.” Connor felt his cheeks warm. “And it really is okay if you need more time. I meant it when I said I understand everything you’re going through. I just…I didn’t know that’s what you were feeling. I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on it. I thought you just weren’t sure about… _me_.” Connor shook his head in frustration at himself. “If you need more time to sort out your feelings about being gay…then you can have all the time you need, okay?”

Kevin bit his lip and swallowed hard. “I don’t need any more time, but maybe we could, um, take it kind of…slow? If that’s okay with you. That doesn’t mean I don’t like you or anything. I’m crazy about you. But going slow might be better for me, if that’s okay?”

Connor nodded with a big grin and squeezed Kevin’s hands. “That’s more than okay.”

 

* * *

 

After they ate dinner at the café, Connor and Kevin walked home together, talking softly with their arms linked. After spending time together for a while at dinner and laughing a bit at themselves and their former behavior, they started to feel more comfortable with one another and the openness of their new relationship began to just feel _right_.

After they got back home, they popped in that classic romance movie from a few days prior that they’d never actually gotten around to watching— _Casablanca_. They arranged their bodies on the couch so they could cuddle close together—Connor laying in front of Kevin and Kevin leaning against the back of the couch with his arm wrapped snugly around Connor. Kevin draped his fuzzy Disney-themed blanket over them and, for once, it wasn’t at all awkward. For Connor, it felt as though every dream he’d ever had magically came true right in that moment. He was finally wrapped up in Kevin Price’s arms and it felt just as safe, warm, and soft as he’d always imagined it would feel. Throughout the movie, Kevin kept thumbing soft, little circles onto Connor wrists and hands, causing the redhead to writhe in pleasure from just the slightest innocent touch. It made Kevin grin wildly, watching as Connor smiled in contentment every time Kevin moved to touch him. He had a very good feeling he was going to really like this new relationship thing he’d gotten himself into.

After the movie ended, Connor moved to sit up, but instead Kevin brought him back down to lay beside him. The brunette unexpectedly pressed his lips to Connor’s, causing him to let out a barely audible moan of shock and pleasure. Connor snaked his hand up to wrap around Kevin’s neck, pulling him in closer. He allowed his fingers to explore Kevin’s soft, yet slightly damp, hair—something he’d always imagined doing. Now it was actually happening in real life and he couldn’t believe it. Kevin’s tongue slipped out of his lips just a little and moved to explore Connor’s mouth, causing the redhead’s knees to practically buckle and another slightly embarrassing moan to escape his lips. After a few minutes of heated kissing, Connor desperately needed air, though he didn’t want the kiss to end. Breathlessly, he reluctantly parted his lips from Kevin’s and gazed up into his warm, brown eyes. He could see they were filled with contentment, desire, fear—they were beautiful.

“So much for taking it slow.” Connor whispered softly, causing them both to erupt into shy giggles.

“I really like kissing you, Connor McKinley.” Kevin declared in a gentle whisper and leaned back in for another kiss, Connor moaning softly again and feeling as though his insides were entirely mush at this point.

Suddenly, Connor and Kevin pulled back when they overheard a rousing cheer come from behind the couch. It was Arnold and Pop-Tarts.

“YESSS!” Arnold screamed at the top of his lungs as he began to jump up and down from happy excitement. “DUDE, I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK, DIDN’T I?” He shouted happily at Pop-Tarts, causing the blonde boy to nearly collapse from laughter.

Connor and Kevin both sat up, blushing profusely at having been caught making out on the couch, but Arnold and Pop-Tarts seemed absolutely elated.

“Sorry, we were just, um—you know, um—“, Connor blushed, looking down at his lap.

“Making out?” Kevin offered innocently, which earned him a playful smack in the arm from Connor.

“Don’t be sorry! We’re so happy for you.” Pop-Tarts spoke sincerely before turning back toward Arnold. “Come on, we should give them some privacy. Let’s go.”

“Wait!” Kevin spoke up to stop them from leaving. “I want to say thank you to both you guys. For everything. If you hadn’t meddled in our business we probably wouldn’t be here right now…you know, making out and stuff.”

Connor smacked him again before giggling in agreement. “It’s true, guys. Thank you.”

Arnold let out a yippee and suddenly ran over to the bedroom doors where the other Elders were (allegedly) sleeping and shouted at the top of his lungs. “I declare all of the madness to be… _over_! Woooo! It’s over, guys! IT’S OVER!”

Kevin and Connor could hear the faint cheers and cries of happiness from the other Elders and sank back into the couch, holding one another close and laughing hysterically. They knew they probably wouldn’t get to kiss any more that night, not with the entire house cheering them on like lunatics, but it didn’t matter. They were together—happy—and had many, many more nights of cuddles and kisses and who knows what else in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks! Hope you liked the fic and thanks for leaving all of the wonderful kudos and comments! They really make my day! :)
> 
> I recently made a Tumblr account where I'd love to take prompts/fic ideas: <http://elderkevinmckinley.tumblr.com>


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